Week 1, Vancouver
Saturday, September 7, 2019 | 9/07/2019 02:11:00 PM | 0 comments
Sep 3-
Been very very blessed with many things happening too “luckily” that reminded me of God’s presence and I guess His guidance and love. (Eg. High floor room w views, opening up a slot for me to switch profs so I could get a better-rated prof + better schedule)
Been also reflecting on the lyrics of a song that was sung in church on Sunday, bc it was so hard to sing and truly mean. There was so much resistance bc sometimes I feel like the trials in my life are so hard to get over and there are so many question marks. But I knew deep inside that the words were so true.
—————————————————————
Sep 4-
Classes started today and they were. Mind. Blowing. Things I appreciated so much:
- Being able to learn in my first language again, and just sitting there/ listening/ soaking up information, instead of rush-typing every word that profs say so that I could properly process/ translate them later on, which is what I do in C (or give up listening altogether ahaha).
- 1hr lectures (50 mins tbe, w 10 mins to get to our next class)- they’ve helped So much in terms of focus and learning compared to 3hr lectures, esp bc my attention span is q short/ am easily distracted
- Going back to familiar values and systems that I grew up with, things like capitalism, democracy, the existence of God, but also objectively considering alternative views (is globalization really good for all/ who profits?). I love how the profs here give so much room for discussion and questions. Love how one prof actually replied a student “who told you/ how did you learn that rational thinking is anti-religious/ conflicts with religion? Bc the latest conclusion I’ve arrived at is that the rational pursuit of truth complements religion.” Back in my (communist) home uni, there isn’t even room to discuss the existence of supernatural forces (eg God). (But we do learn about other/ different perspectives and issues too. So still appreciate my home uni.)
- Toilet bowls in school toilets/ everywhere, very CLEAN, and hand sanitizers at building entrances. I’ve just generally missed being in a developed country/ institution maybe hahahaha.
I’ve also met/ made not many but just enough/hopefully the right people this week too. Am v thankful bc I know I don’t look attractive or sexy or cool and people judge and decide who to socialize with largely based on appearances/ first impressions. Someone who was supposed to be a friend v insensitively remarked (opinion was also not asked for) that I-
1. Look like an orang C / C national (#triggered)
2. Don’t have many “connections” here/ implied that I am only talking to someone (who I enjoy hanging out with) bc that person has “more” “connections” than me, and hurt my sensitive-S soul. But I guess this is life and growing up: learning to have thick-S skin and smiling at the people while they slap you in the face. I hope that’s maturity. I also know the truth myself.
On a brighter side, I have learnt to be Really comfortable w being by myself and just doing me here; am so thankful for space here. :)
—————————————————————-
Sep 6- Trust.
A few days ago I was amazed by His provision of situations and things that have made my life here much better. Just yesterday, I witnessed that God also provides the people we need, without us doing anything but just showing up for Him to work. :) I might be speaking too soon, and am also scared of jinxing myself, but I just feel like this is Him. And it was Him telling me that sometimes I just have to Trust, instead of depleting all my energy doing things I don’t actually enjoy doing, with people who I actually don’t appreciate, trying so hard to form “connections” that are so superficial/ would never last beyond weeks. Honestly, I really haven’t been the closest to Him in a while (since C), and I always feel like I’m so imperfect/ undeserving, but He has been showing me time and again that even though I’ve not been praying / communicating w Him bout my needs, I have miraculously gotten just enough of everything to get through day by day, week by week, by and only by His grace. He knows what I need and has given them to me. Still can’t get over how much He knows bout what’s going on inside my tiny petty heart and overthinking head, and that despite me being such an insignificant not-so-tiny human bein, He still provides for and beyond my daily needs.
I’ve learnt over the past 3 days that not everyone is (most people are prolly not) for me; but I was also reminded through someone’s words that by despite me being me, I‘ve met enough (more than enough) good people in my life. So I’m just gonna be thankful :)
Btw, am so SO excited for the trip tmr! It was one of the places I’ve wanted to visit from the start but could only dream of/ never dared to ask/ couldn’t make sure I’d actually get to go, bc I can’t drive :( also thought that I’d need months to find nice enough people to travel with/ people who can and are willing to take me on a trip and wouldn’t treat me like I don’t exist. So I totally didn’t expect this to be happening so soon. (screams internally) And thing is, I didn’t even have to try to talk/ leave my comfort zone- it’s like God just placed them in that place at that time and BAM.
I.o.n, IB brought up the term “wholesome” recently, and used it to describe me. I’ve never thought of myself that way bc I’m so flawed, not nice and far from a good person. But I guess that’s where grace and faith bring us- from imperfect sinners to one whole of a person in Him, bc He fills up and completes my gaps. I’m defo still far from “wholesomeness” and I defo still sin, but I guess thanks to her, I realized that I really do like wholesome, natural, organic, nutritious, just Good, things/ people/ places :))
And just like for plants and agriculture, growth and good things happen in the presence of light and nutrition, not in darkness and toxins.
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Week 1, Vancouver
Saturday, September 7, 2019 | 9/07/2019 02:11:00 PM | 0 comments
Sep 3-
Been very very blessed with many things happening too “luckily” that reminded me of God’s presence and I guess His guidance and love. (Eg. High floor room w views, opening up a slot for me to switch profs so I could get a better-rated prof + better schedule)
Been also reflecting on the lyrics of a song that was sung in church on Sunday, bc it was so hard to sing and truly mean. There was so much resistance bc sometimes I feel like the trials in my life are so hard to get over and there are so many question marks. But I knew deep inside that the words were so true.
—————————————————————
Sep 4-
Classes started today and they were. Mind. Blowing. Things I appreciated so much:
- Being able to learn in my first language again, and just sitting there/ listening/ soaking up information, instead of rush-typing every word that profs say so that I could properly process/ translate them later on, which is what I do in C (or give up listening altogether ahaha).
- 1hr lectures (50 mins tbe, w 10 mins to get to our next class)- they’ve helped So much in terms of focus and learning compared to 3hr lectures, esp bc my attention span is q short/ am easily distracted
- Going back to familiar values and systems that I grew up with, things like capitalism, democracy, the existence of God, but also objectively considering alternative views (is globalization really good for all/ who profits?). I love how the profs here give so much room for discussion and questions. Love how one prof actually replied a student “who told you/ how did you learn that rational thinking is anti-religious/ conflicts with religion? Bc the latest conclusion I’ve arrived at is that the rational pursuit of truth complements religion.” Back in my (communist) home uni, there isn’t even room to discuss the existence of supernatural forces (eg God). (But we do learn about other/ different perspectives and issues too. So still appreciate my home uni.)
- Toilet bowls in school toilets/ everywhere, very CLEAN, and hand sanitizers at building entrances. I’ve just generally missed being in a developed country/ institution maybe hahahaha.
I’ve also met/ made not many but just enough/hopefully the right people this week too. Am v thankful bc I know I don’t look attractive or sexy or cool and people judge and decide who to socialize with largely based on appearances/ first impressions. Someone who was supposed to be a friend v insensitively remarked (opinion was also not asked for) that I-
1. Look like an orang C / C national (#triggered)
2. Don’t have many “connections” here/ implied that I am only talking to someone (who I enjoy hanging out with) bc that person has “more” “connections” than me, and hurt my sensitive-S soul. But I guess this is life and growing up: learning to have thick-S skin and smiling at the people while they slap you in the face. I hope that’s maturity. I also know the truth myself.
On a brighter side, I have learnt to be Really comfortable w being by myself and just doing me here; am so thankful for space here. :)
—————————————————————-
Sep 6- Trust.
A few days ago I was amazed by His provision of situations and things that have made my life here much better. Just yesterday, I witnessed that God also provides the people we need, without us doing anything but just showing up for Him to work. :) I might be speaking too soon, and am also scared of jinxing myself, but I just feel like this is Him. And it was Him telling me that sometimes I just have to Trust, instead of depleting all my energy doing things I don’t actually enjoy doing, with people who I actually don’t appreciate, trying so hard to form “connections” that are so superficial/ would never last beyond weeks. Honestly, I really haven’t been the closest to Him in a while (since C), and I always feel like I’m so imperfect/ undeserving, but He has been showing me time and again that even though I’ve not been praying / communicating w Him bout my needs, I have miraculously gotten just enough of everything to get through day by day, week by week, by and only by His grace. He knows what I need and has given them to me. Still can’t get over how much He knows bout what’s going on inside my tiny petty heart and overthinking head, and that despite me being such an insignificant not-so-tiny human bein, He still provides for and beyond my daily needs.
I’ve learnt over the past 3 days that not everyone is (most people are prolly not) for me; but I was also reminded through someone’s words that by despite me being me, I‘ve met enough (more than enough) good people in my life. So I’m just gonna be thankful :)
Btw, am so SO excited for the trip tmr! It was one of the places I’ve wanted to visit from the start but could only dream of/ never dared to ask/ couldn’t make sure I’d actually get to go, bc I can’t drive :( also thought that I’d need months to find nice enough people to travel with/ people who can and are willing to take me on a trip and wouldn’t treat me like I don’t exist. So I totally didn’t expect this to be happening so soon. (screams internally) And thing is, I didn’t even have to try to talk/ leave my comfort zone- it’s like God just placed them in that place at that time and BAM.
I.o.n, IB brought up the term “wholesome” recently, and used it to describe me. I’ve never thought of myself that way bc I’m so flawed, not nice and far from a good person. But I guess that’s where grace and faith bring us- from imperfect sinners to one whole of a person in Him, bc He fills up and completes my gaps. I’m defo still far from “wholesomeness” and I defo still sin, but I guess thanks to her, I realized that I really do like wholesome, natural, organic, nutritious, just Good, things/ people/ places :))
And just like for plants and agriculture, growth and good things happen in the presence of light and nutrition, not in darkness and toxins.
Older Post | Newer Post
|
