And for the first to be us

I thought that after everything we went through for the past 2 years we would be okay for a while more.

But anyway, things haven't felt right for the past 2 weeks and I guess I asked for this with my decision to come here haha. Nothing comes without a price (:

I know that good things leave for better things to come and I guess that's what has been sustaining me for this whole day although I felt like I wouldn't be able to face anything or anyone after it happened this morning. Wasn't productive either because I am so easily affected by my emotions (such a terrible issue to have!!) A few times today I thought I might start tearing up but I'm glad I didn't because I'm stronger than all of this. 

(Also I passed one of my biggest fears this week/this year by clearing the 12min fitness test here yesterday (:  )

I'm thankful amidst all of this- thankful for everyone back home and here who has been kind to me. I haven't told anyone here because there isn't anyone in this big country who I can really trust yet, but I'm thankful for the people who have been kind to me unknowingly. The saying to always be kind because you never know what battle someone else is fighting flashed in my head a few times when I received undeserving kindness today (: and I'm even more thankful for the people back home who are not here physically but are still here in my heart and holding it together whenever I feel that unpleasant sourish painful twist that makes me feel like I'm going to shatter apart everytime I think of this- is that what heart ache feels like hahaha ok I'm gonna stop being so cliché!

Can't wait for the better things God has planned ahead for me. I will look forward and not backwards. and I guess He really is my 夜空中最亮的星-- the biggest thing I have to give thanks for, cos amidst this all, 祂是掌权的 (': 

 

 

And for the first to be us

I thought that after everything we went through for the past 2 years we would be okay for a while more.

But anyway, things haven't felt right for the past 2 weeks and I guess I asked for this with my decision to come here haha. Nothing comes without a price (:

I know that good things leave for better things to come and I guess that's what has been sustaining me for this whole day although I felt like I wouldn't be able to face anything or anyone after it happened this morning. Wasn't productive either because I am so easily affected by my emotions (such a terrible issue to have!!) A few times today I thought I might start tearing up but I'm glad I didn't because I'm stronger than all of this. 

(Also I passed one of my biggest fears this week/this year by clearing the 12min fitness test here yesterday (:  )

I'm thankful amidst all of this- thankful for everyone back home and here who has been kind to me. I haven't told anyone here because there isn't anyone in this big country who I can really trust yet, but I'm thankful for the people who have been kind to me unknowingly. The saying to always be kind because you never know what battle someone else is fighting flashed in my head a few times when I received undeserving kindness today (: and I'm even more thankful for the people back home who are not here physically but are still here in my heart and holding it together whenever I feel that unpleasant sourish painful twist that makes me feel like I'm going to shatter apart everytime I think of this- is that what heart ache feels like hahaha ok I'm gonna stop being so cliché!

Can't wait for the better things God has planned ahead for me. I will look forward and not backwards. and I guess He really is my 夜空中最亮的星-- the biggest thing I have to give thanks for, cos amidst this all, 祂是掌权的 (':