kuebiko
Saturday, October 31, 2015 | 10/31/2015 07:21:00 PM | 0 comments
feel like I'm so overloaded with info that I can't remember anything/ super screwedor maybe I want to practice gp and sentence writing and unsubtlely getting my point across hahah
Or maybe I'm just really tired from all this shit.
sometimes you just feel like (quotes joy) "I really don't need this shit now"
but it's ok cos I'm shit
And I shd just learn to eat more shit so next time I can take more shit
Sometimes you really see people in a new light
and there's so much shit but you can't tell anyone what's gg on especially the one who cares the most for you (my dad) because you dw to make others worry and cos !!!!!
and then you just have to eat more shit and be warned to not utter a single word
I just have to learn to deal with shit better and stop letting things affect me
and stop driving myself to ruins before the actual thing even happens lel
But I really just suck at hiding
I can't hide my emotions/my face even when idw to show it
And I really can't tolerate fake people
Such that even if I know it helps to act chummy but I know that's not what's really going on/that's not what I feel, I can't do it
S i g h why am I so shitty
In other news while my dad was overseas and I tried to water my sunflower, 2 more suddenly started growing (cos dad planted 4 seeds together and initially only the one that grew/died halfway/ the one you guys've met was growing)
And it hasn't been that long but!!
Notice how the first plant has smaller leaves than the other two who really shot up like no one's business
But I'm the most proud of it cos it's still there though everyone says it looks like it's dying and it's stalk/ body thing is much thinner than the other two and you can actually see it's scars/dead leaves hanging there
And I just find that it's super brave and strong (:
And I will try to learn from it and be strong too although shit happens and shit sucks because this is life.
I just need to believe that as much shit as there is in this world, there is good in this world still.
(Like the people who you dk what on earth you did to deserve them but they've stayed in your life all this while and not given up on you though you've become a rather selfish/uncaring friend who doesn't initiate texts anymore or sustain convos
Thanks lyn thanks joy lurbewguys and can't be more thankful for both of you for being here and moree
also roo who bothered to take pic w me for grad (: as for the people who didn't I think for 80% of them alr see true colours/goodbye no point staying friends (if we even were) Hahahahaha yes actions really do mean more to me than words.
I will not stop running now I will continue and finish this dumb rat race and open a small puny leave/ flower and not give up like I did for napfa
I can do this
