3/11 stay
Monday, November 3, 2014 | 11/03/2014 10:19:00 PM | 0 comments
I feel like I haven't been here in a while haha xD And i'm abit scared that one day this place will lose it's importance to me/i will be so shut off and cut off that I can't even turn here anymore
This place has held the truest parts of me for 7 years;
this is where I hold on to myself
/
Op/pw ended today
And idk if I'm feeling tired from pw or what but
There's this strong feeling of being overwhelmed
But yeah I know I should/need to be more than contented w my life because of everything I have now which is more than enough
It just feels like..
Heh nvm maybe I'm rlly just tired fr pw ahaha.
/
Holidays are hereeeee hehe(:
I've never been one to admit this cos I love holidays love to play love to breathe but
I think I need to say this now:
Holidays are not good for lwha!
Because I waste my life away and completely lose any form of self-discipline
Ohmannnnnnnn
/
There are the same few ppl who I would like to thank for things that happened over e past few days:
1. Cindy for loads and loads of comfort and advice and helping me set my life a little straighter when it was sloppy and falling; because still going so strong despite everything and being the best role model I could ever look up to
2. Yj for the cookies though idk what our friendship is still like now I treasure em a lot and I don't dare to eat the last mouth ahaha
3. Joy and ks for being here virtually when I opened the envelopes meant a lot guys meant a lot
4. Mrk for not giving up on me/still holding on to me and wanting me to go back to learn new repertoire even though i might nt be attempting e next level soon
5. Ben cos much as he is a huge problem kid now I know he loves me a lot and really cares for me and I really love you too bruuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thanks for everything
6. And my parents and God who are my strongest pillars of support through the worst times ever
Actually sudden miss these ppl a lot and feels soppy but no I won't cry I'm just v grateful cos they're here )':')
/
Idrk what to say alr because I guess I'm feelig a little tired
And I think my something is coming which is why I've been feeling a lilllll angst these few days
And I just went for vaccination so my left arm is a lil numb though it doesn't hurt hehe perks of jabbing 4X a day
And I guess I really need to say thankyou to you for being so patient with me although I've been feeling vvvv confused and lost and sending mixed signals, for being here and for everything you say that makes me feel better even though some things feel too overwhelming/beyond what I'm ready to take now. Thanks for caring so much, for waiting and not giving up even though I've been pushing away and testing and pushing away. Give me a bit more time to try harder, I will make everything okay, I will try my best to make sure no one will get hurt
Father please grant me peace and the answers I need
You're a God of revelation
I will be still and wait
I will be still and wait.
