19/10 well
Monday, October 20, 2014 | 10/20/2014 12:24:00 AM | 0 comments
There are a lot of things I want to say/have said to myself but now all these things aside, just wanna say thankyou because I feel really blessed and grateful
So we were rushing pw today and everything was going wrong
(Incl something I can't say here which bugged me soo much because sigh)
But anw, thanks joy for so much moral support this whole time
And ks for going out of home to find printing shop for us
And my familyyyyyyy
Thanks daddy for buying the most expensive meal at BK (I think) even though you texted me to eat cup noodles
Thanks for getting my favourite onion rings and also cheese fries for me and Ben to share and for rushing home from expo
Thanks for eating up the cup noodles so I could eat e huge crazy good burger you bought
It's just BK and it may look like nth much but it touched me because 简单就是幸福
Or more like touched the crazy girl who was freaking out over having to print 70+ coloured pages of wr at 9+ and not having had dinner/super hungry
Thanks for not scolding me over wr/ scolding me for not eating HAHAHA and I'm sorry for making you worried (apparently my face was Green HAHAHAHA but my parents tend to overreact/exaggerate)
I was feeling literally 饿晕 w bad gastric attack
(Was it cos I had dinner at 10+
Or BK
Or was it the gastric effects that are still there
Cos I still feel so much laundry being done in my tummy)
And joy and ks were also concerned bout me nt eating (cos I Complained about being hungry but felt too stressed to eat even when they asked me to)
And tbh these few days I feel like my double chin is freaking growing (I'm gaining a lot of weight recently cos eating a lot + no exercise) (and my chin/face seriously was quite nice at e beginning of e year cos of frisbee and tan) so I've been feeling fat and have been trying to eat less
Or like I just feel vvvvvv fat and sad and lousy and shitty
(Cos really vvvvv fat)
But my family didn't scold me/quarrel w me today
And the few friends who are here who care,
Care, made me feel like..
Tonight I felt like..
To these people, it doesn't really matter to them (correct me if I'm wrong?) whether I'm fat or what
They tell me to eat when I'm hungry
They worry when im green
My sissy who I've been vvv mean to recently/quarreled w so much/said horrible things to, told me to tell everyone that I have health issues and although I like to act like it's not a big deal but if people want to see me around/be bugged by me for a longer time...
And she told me that if I want to continue existing and annoying the hell out of everyone on earth
I need to keep myself fed xD
And my dad
My dad was just vvv nice he squeezed 4 packets of BK chilli for me to go w my onion rings
And as we all know (or maybe more recently revealed)
I love spicy food esp when I'm stressed or mad (although I nearly died from food poisoning last week cos gastric + too much chilli) (and yeah daddy knows he told me to exercise self-control) ((but e BK/prepacked chilli packets are freaking puny tinyyyy)
So I was so happy eating the most ex meal from BK although I felt like throwing up e entire time my family was at e table watching just me (and Ben) eat dinner
If this isn't happiness
I don't know what it is
I hvent felt so warm for a long time
And after such a stressful shitty day outside
(+ after many secret days of feeling like "can i give up" "what if I gave up" "I'm tired of jabbing and checking hypocounts and taking metformin everyday" "what if I just stopped taking anything for one day" "can I not jab for one day")
I nearly burst into tears a few times during dinner
Also nearly during worship today too/teared up abit (cos e songs really touched me) ((and ks' drumming made me smile at some points during worship cos WOW seriously so impressive))
Actually that's it I was actually waiting for all the acid to disappear but I'm feeling abit tired and tummy still vv weird so I'm gonna sleep and hope it isn't a repeat of last week's puke-all-night saga
Oh yeah my new favourite phrase is "well" because it's apt for Everything although it's one word/ it can be used in any scenario (esp awkward ones YaY) ((try it)) (((#awkwardlinetips)))
Also although pw hasn't been e most wonderful journey and my group isn't e most perfect group but yes I'm really thankful for each and every member in my group. Vvvv blessed!!!
Thank you God, thanks daddy, thanks annoying-as-hell-but-irly-sissy, thanks mama, thanks ks, thanks joy, thanks lepak (cos I realized today that for some wonderful reason all of you call me/type adel/the way I really like my name called) thankyou God again cos you're so so so wonderful even when everything in life is not so good
I can do this I will overcome I will not give up I will climb back up (:
Jiayoujiayou everyone!
