8/8 drapetomania
Thursday, August 7, 2014 | 8/07/2014 12:40:00 PM | 0 comments
Good morninggg
Some things have happened ( okay things happen every day) and I haven't been able to find words but
Bello B-)
/Awkz/
Went to Kkh last week and got 2days mc because apparently I was "overworked" and feeling sick+exhausted and I went home to sleep and woke up with a fever 😂 couldn't do any work cos all I could do was eat and sleep (until I had thoughts of quitting school and becoming a professional polar bear)
Besides that the dreaded mail from abrsm with my exam date came a few days ago (dumdumdummm)
And I find myself having much work to do on the piano/can't be done in less than 3 hours now/school work
Idk why but recently all I can think of is running away/escaping from everything I can
I know it's just been 2 months since I last travelled but I keep wanting to get away
I know my piano exam is 1 month away but last week I didn't prac piano for 2-3 days because I just wanted to get away
I keep wanting to run away from band too and from the present back into the past and everything and I know that the seemingly greener grass on the other side isn't always greener
I know I am a big loser and coward
Yet amidst all this I know that life's still greattttt
(never doubt that it isn't)
There have been days where i felt like I have 0 friends because I felt like I couldn't go on and I didn't know who would understand/I could talk to
And it made me feel real angst because fizzy bottle saying
But I know I have friends
(Especially my piano/ new best friend)
Not many, but there are still a few people who have hung around and unknowingly given me strength
I'm sorry to the people who have gotten the brunt of my angst these few days
(Like the class)
And thankyou for the ones who have helped me last until today (whether you know it or not)
I'm going to hang in there and channel all the pressure and angst into strength and motivation oomph!!
I'm going to fight for what I want like a true warrior and not give up!
Other than one miracle that I'm praying for (ok two the other is to pass piano exam), there's no turning back and I just have to trudge on no matter how weak and tired I feel
And constantly remind myself that life is great, even in my circumstances
So to everyone else who is feeling tired and wbdkandmadkszdkam:
1. I feel you
2. Stay Strong Trudge On!
"Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end"
Hope-really need some of that now.
Hugs-really want some now
Friends-really could do with some now
Mm-really need you now, but no, it's time for me to make up for everything I ever took for granted
God-thankyou, for knowing the deep insides that cannot be expressed; for unconditional love
Thanks for being here (((''''':
