Feels like I'm in a really unreal world 

Sometimes I wonder when this will end and I will wake up the next morning going to school- sec school. Ny. 

I'm coping pretty well here and I thank God for so so many things he's given me here.

Especially the bunch of accepting and truly equally retarded classmates.

We literally laugh at nothing the whole lesson for many lessons (except math) 

And then we laugh at people for laughing.

And then we laugh ourselves again and get laughed at.

That was how we got through the entire Tuesday/worst day of the week. Most of us/ I lasted till 3.30 with only 30min break the whole day.

Jh and seniors I know in our wing have been tellig me how our class is the noisiest class in the whole wing 

I take that as quite a compliment.

Our class has 绝种 people

Like zh and really many more cos they are so nice even I feel like kowtowing to them for being so nice

We aren't perfect but they've made hc much better for me

I like to laugh because it truly makes me happy, and although most of the new ppl in my life have been guailaning me for laughing, they still laugh w me ultimately(-: 

I've been thinking a lot these few days- about just the past maybe, and the future. 

I decided to stop, and just focus on/enjoy the present.

The present is a present from God.

Yup.

Tbh, I've had really dark thoughts of hating recently. I wanted to hate everyone that left me, because I hate betrayals, and leaving is the highest form of betrayal any kind of friend could ever do. I got tired of being stuck in between caring and being hurt, so I wanted to hate. I didn't manage to.

I realized that I can't, because no matter how much I try to hate someone, it just dies off and I find myself feeling angry at me for being such a loser (yeah I rlly do sound like one huh) so I've decided to stop. Still, I thank God that he helps sustain me without hating anyone, cos hating is so tiring, though I've only tried for a few days.

If I ever made a promise to be a friend, I will try my best to keep it no matter what the other party does. Even if those people leave, a promise I make is a promise. That's all I have to say I guess. 

I've been conquering things I haven't conquered in a long while, I thank God for strength. Every Wednesday is my "I am stronger than my excuses" day.

Not only excuses, it's fear and physical + mental barriers. Last week I conquered my fear of the track. I have a fear of the track because I died on one before during sec2 napfa (fyi). Even if I go jogging it's never been on a track. I've officially overcome my fear of it as of last week. 

I haven't done napfa for 2 years. I ran 2km ytd with the class without stopping. Sound dam loser lol but yeah I felt like I was stronger than my excuses and cough and all that rubbish (although I didn't feel quite well afterwards hahahaha) 

I did my math practice worksheet rubbishly on Sunday after an exhausting weekend. Like I didn't even bother to ask my mom for any help. I was expecting myself to not be able to finish and hand it in on Monday, but because I rushed it really rubbishly, I managed to hand it in.

Ytd we got back the worksheet, and I think I was te only one or two who got more than a B. God is seriously miraculous hahahaha

Many more little showers of blessings rained upon me so I'm really more than thankful. I think the fact that I survive each day and laugh a lot is a new miracle by God. 

Feeling pretty nervous for later on, but I know I have a mountain behind me, made up of God, many friends and seniors, and my family, however busy they are. 

I'm just gonna walk in and try my best, and leave the rest to God.

Feels like I'm in a really unreal world 

Sometimes I wonder when this will end and I will wake up the next morning going to school- sec school. Ny. 

I'm coping pretty well here and I thank God for so so many things he's given me here.

Especially the bunch of accepting and truly equally retarded classmates.

We literally laugh at nothing the whole lesson for many lessons (except math) 

And then we laugh at people for laughing.

And then we laugh ourselves again and get laughed at.

That was how we got through the entire Tuesday/worst day of the week. Most of us/ I lasted till 3.30 with only 30min break the whole day.

Jh and seniors I know in our wing have been tellig me how our class is the noisiest class in the whole wing 

I take that as quite a compliment.

Our class has 绝种 people

Like zh and really many more cos they are so nice even I feel like kowtowing to them for being so nice

We aren't perfect but they've made hc much better for me

I like to laugh because it truly makes me happy, and although most of the new ppl in my life have been guailaning me for laughing, they still laugh w me ultimately(-: 

I've been thinking a lot these few days- about just the past maybe, and the future. 

I decided to stop, and just focus on/enjoy the present.

The present is a present from God.

Yup.

Tbh, I've had really dark thoughts of hating recently. I wanted to hate everyone that left me, because I hate betrayals, and leaving is the highest form of betrayal any kind of friend could ever do. I got tired of being stuck in between caring and being hurt, so I wanted to hate. I didn't manage to.

I realized that I can't, because no matter how much I try to hate someone, it just dies off and I find myself feeling angry at me for being such a loser (yeah I rlly do sound like one huh) so I've decided to stop. Still, I thank God that he helps sustain me without hating anyone, cos hating is so tiring, though I've only tried for a few days.

If I ever made a promise to be a friend, I will try my best to keep it no matter what the other party does. Even if those people leave, a promise I make is a promise. That's all I have to say I guess. 

I've been conquering things I haven't conquered in a long while, I thank God for strength. Every Wednesday is my "I am stronger than my excuses" day.

Not only excuses, it's fear and physical + mental barriers. Last week I conquered my fear of the track. I have a fear of the track because I died on one before during sec2 napfa (fyi). Even if I go jogging it's never been on a track. I've officially overcome my fear of it as of last week. 

I haven't done napfa for 2 years. I ran 2km ytd with the class without stopping. Sound dam loser lol but yeah I felt like I was stronger than my excuses and cough and all that rubbish (although I didn't feel quite well afterwards hahahaha) 

I did my math practice worksheet rubbishly on Sunday after an exhausting weekend. Like I didn't even bother to ask my mom for any help. I was expecting myself to not be able to finish and hand it in on Monday, but because I rushed it really rubbishly, I managed to hand it in.

Ytd we got back the worksheet, and I think I was te only one or two who got more than a B. God is seriously miraculous hahahaha

Many more little showers of blessings rained upon me so I'm really more than thankful. I think the fact that I survive each day and laugh a lot is a new miracle by God. 

Feeling pretty nervous for later on, but I know I have a mountain behind me, made up of God, many friends and seniors, and my family, however busy they are. 

I'm just gonna walk in and try my best, and leave the rest to God.