Marcus was in a bad mood for the rest of e morning and scolded e team quite badly- which made me, for the second time since I started playing frisbee, start thinking bout whether or not I really am cut out for sports/frisbee.

I guess for sports, usually at some point in time the coach has to scold you and all that to "motivate" you? But I'm nt the kind that is receptive to scolding. Not that I'm a fragile flower that can't be scolded, but more like.. unless you're an elder/someone I respect a lot, you're just wasting breath scolding me cos I automatically turn off when ppl do that. It does not hurt me (maybe just scare me), but usually it gets me irritated and straightaway puts you on my blacklist. (Okay wait Marcus is nt on it LOL yet)

I know ppl scold cos they care, but I'm the kind that honestly prefers to be told to do things nicely. When you tell me things nicely, at least you get the chance of me Listening. When you scold me, uh not rlly haha.

So yep. I'm feeling abit shaky now cos of the scoldings ytd. 

Another thing about sports is, I guess how fit you are/your looks are important, if not very. I realized that sports people tend to be image-conscious, like the seniors who talk about muscles and packs a lot, and kelda and ming sometimes start talking about how some people are hot, how good/perfect some ppl's figures are, how nice other ppl's legs look, and how they pale in comparison. Everything's right about that, I mean it's good to see how good looking and everything others are, except I'm not rlly someone who spazzes over/bothers about/notices these kind of things a lot, mainly because I don't have any looks or shape or whatever at all to show. I'm abit scared that if I join sports, I will get very conscious also. 

The thing is, even during lunch ytd, I could see how competitive hc will be, in terms of results. One of e 2 sec4 hc dudes was sorta mocking e other/making him feel uncomfortable for getting an A2 for bio (or chem? Idk) and B3 for physics and it kinda seemed abit S-HO to me because I cnnt stand ppl who are so smug. Fine, you got distinction or dk what for chem and you have e ability to show off. Wouldnt it be great if you could just show a tad bit of humility and exercise some sensitivity? 

Since even for results, hc is alr gonna be so competitive, I'm scared if I join sports it'd be worse. I believe that everyone is a winner in their own way. I dislike the competitive mindset that sports sometimes comes with.

Back to the day.

Marcus did cool down/start joking again after our first match (we lost though). Actually even before that, when I said I wanted to go home because I started having rlly bad cramps (I didn't even know it was here until I felt e cramps) and also cos I was in e wrong attire (/I was feelin pretty lousy), he told me to stay on and not go home unless I was really really sick la. I didn't wanna appear like those sissy weak kind so I stayed. 

Then we had a rushed lunch before going to west coast park and I honestly didn't know whether I should go home/I was super conflicted cos cramps (smmore day1) were killing me but I wanted to watch the matches.

I decided to go in e end (I think my indecisiveness in betw was pretty irritating actually) and I stayed till e end of e 3 matches. 

They went for dinner but cos my mom was alone for e night and I was feelig exhausted after being awake since 6am

and being under the sun for e whole day, I went home instead/didn't even consider dinner haha. (Resolution 2014: Family over friends/acquaintances.)

I got badly sunburnt cos while rushing in e morning, I forgot about sunblock. My face (esp whole cheekbones to eyelids area) and arms and legs that were sunburnt are really sizzling hot and painful even now. But the night ended better cos mom and I had a crazily full meal at Aston's and my dad was being dam lame on whatsapp which made us laugh a lot. 

(If you look at my left arm, you can spot my horribly low tan line near my elbow)

Cos I was tired, I fell asleep at 10 without even posting my blogpost so when I woke up at 11 I posted it and slept. 

This morning, I woke up to see a familiar (short) figure bustling about in the kitchen. Yep, my helper is (finally) back! :D I was so happy that I hugged her hahaha /awkward moments/ and I realized that I haven't hugged anyone in a  long time. This 2 weeks have been pretty challenging for our family (doesn't incl e sister) but we have pulled through tgt and I think it was a good experience to become more independent and responsible! Also we got to bond through all these and my helper got a well-deserved break so this was not a bad thing at all (: 

Piano lesson starts tmr and I'm feeling pretty stressed/unprepared so I will spend today practicing scales/learning new pieces. 

My math has gone back to F9 because I can't even do my sec3 eoy paper anymore and I'm pretty screwed esp since hc will be really scarily competitive so I'm going to practice more math

I'm not done packing my room either but I'm going to sleep a bit more first because badcramps because eye hurts (idk if it's sunburn, insufficient sleep or if I'm just going blind from D) because 休息是为了走更长的路 and I'm tryin not to fall sick because I'm trying to escape from this world. 

So this was a long post but you can take your own sweet time to read/read one para each day because here's a new 2014 resolution: blog less. (/ stop blogging but this will be near impossible in the near future)

Also as part of my less awks more guts resolution, I decided to put up my blog link on FB. As a dare, I will keep it up for a minimum period of a week. If my guts die I will remove it after a week. If they don't it will stay. Not that I want to attract more readers. I just realized that most ppl who know of/read this place have got to be ppl since before sec3 or sth (I removed my blog link last year) and most of these ppl have left my life so this place is kinda dead (ok there are somehow still an average of 30views/day but) so I will give a chance to let others know me. Plus there isn't anything to hide here (other than the obvious fact that ppl will know about my life and thoughts). Maybe if I step out of my comfort zone abit, I can be less awkward. 

Also since I'm intending to blog less the privacy thing hopefully will be less of a problem.

就这样！you are dam good if you read finish this post in one read. I applaud you and award you a loyal reader award.

11.23pm

I'm back because I need to clarify stuff.  

Idk whether to feel extremely guilty/sorry for making people worried or whether to laugh out loud for causing a few people to suddenly become extra sentimental XD

GUYS, I'm finee! Nothing is wrong w me and I do have certain probs but they aren't new hahaha.

Thanks a lot for the explosion of concern. I'm really fine la HAHAHAHA and sorry I didn't go near my phone for hours cos I was spending time w my family and my piano. 

I said I was gonna try to blog less, not that I am dying tmr hahaha. 

Thanks though. I'm rlly touched and I know that there are people who really care! 

So sorry if I made you worried/panic/guilty/idkwhat haha sorry i didn't intend for my post to come out like that >< 

I mean if you weren't here before this post and all that then just go back to like what we were before/ no need to suddenly start talking to me and being extra nice to me k cos I will feel awkward and weird too ahaha

But really thanks to the people that are here tonight, for the assurance that y'all are still here and that you guys still care. It means more to me than y'all will ever know! (: 

God has also, for some reason, spoken to me tonight/feels like He's especially here tonight although I'm Seriously feeling normal and fine. 

The messages are clear and encouraging 

I feel safe and calm knowing He's here no matter what (: 

Goodnight, and relax, I'm still good and alive and annoying adeline la haha! I'll be back soon cos I srsly doubt that I can stay away from this place for any significant length of time. Chill guys HAHAHAHA thanks for tgt making me laugh out loud tnite XD

 

Marcus was in a bad mood for the rest of e morning and scolded e team quite badly- which made me, for the second time since I started playing frisbee, start thinking bout whether or not I really am cut out for sports/frisbee.

I guess for sports, usually at some point in time the coach has to scold you and all that to "motivate" you? But I'm nt the kind that is receptive to scolding. Not that I'm a fragile flower that can't be scolded, but more like.. unless you're an elder/someone I respect a lot, you're just wasting breath scolding me cos I automatically turn off when ppl do that. It does not hurt me (maybe just scare me), but usually it gets me irritated and straightaway puts you on my blacklist. (Okay wait Marcus is nt on it LOL yet)

I know ppl scold cos they care, but I'm the kind that honestly prefers to be told to do things nicely. When you tell me things nicely, at least you get the chance of me Listening. When you scold me, uh not rlly haha.

So yep. I'm feeling abit shaky now cos of the scoldings ytd. 

Another thing about sports is, I guess how fit you are/your looks are important, if not very. I realized that sports people tend to be image-conscious, like the seniors who talk about muscles and packs a lot, and kelda and ming sometimes start talking about how some people are hot, how good/perfect some ppl's figures are, how nice other ppl's legs look, and how they pale in comparison. Everything's right about that, I mean it's good to see how good looking and everything others are, except I'm not rlly someone who spazzes over/bothers about/notices these kind of things a lot, mainly because I don't have any looks or shape or whatever at all to show. I'm abit scared that if I join sports, I will get very conscious also. 

The thing is, even during lunch ytd, I could see how competitive hc will be, in terms of results. One of e 2 sec4 hc dudes was sorta mocking e other/making him feel uncomfortable for getting an A2 for bio (or chem? Idk) and B3 for physics and it kinda seemed abit S-HO to me because I cnnt stand ppl who are so smug. Fine, you got distinction or dk what for chem and you have e ability to show off. Wouldnt it be great if you could just show a tad bit of humility and exercise some sensitivity? 

Since even for results, hc is alr gonna be so competitive, I'm scared if I join sports it'd be worse. I believe that everyone is a winner in their own way. I dislike the competitive mindset that sports sometimes comes with.

Back to the day.

Marcus did cool down/start joking again after our first match (we lost though). Actually even before that, when I said I wanted to go home because I started having rlly bad cramps (I didn't even know it was here until I felt e cramps) and also cos I was in e wrong attire (/I was feelin pretty lousy), he told me to stay on and not go home unless I was really really sick la. I didn't wanna appear like those sissy weak kind so I stayed. 

Then we had a rushed lunch before going to west coast park and I honestly didn't know whether I should go home/I was super conflicted cos cramps (smmore day1) were killing me but I wanted to watch the matches.

I decided to go in e end (I think my indecisiveness in betw was pretty irritating actually) and I stayed till e end of e 3 matches. 

They went for dinner but cos my mom was alone for e night and I was feelig exhausted after being awake since 6am

and being under the sun for e whole day, I went home instead/didn't even consider dinner haha. (Resolution 2014: Family over friends/acquaintances.)

I got badly sunburnt cos while rushing in e morning, I forgot about sunblock. My face (esp whole cheekbones to eyelids area) and arms and legs that were sunburnt are really sizzling hot and painful even now. But the night ended better cos mom and I had a crazily full meal at Aston's and my dad was being dam lame on whatsapp which made us laugh a lot. 

(If you look at my left arm, you can spot my horribly low tan line near my elbow)

Cos I was tired, I fell asleep at 10 without even posting my blogpost so when I woke up at 11 I posted it and slept. 

This morning, I woke up to see a familiar (short) figure bustling about in the kitchen. Yep, my helper is (finally) back! :D I was so happy that I hugged her hahaha /awkward moments/ and I realized that I haven't hugged anyone in a  long time. This 2 weeks have been pretty challenging for our family (doesn't incl e sister) but we have pulled through tgt and I think it was a good experience to become more independent and responsible! Also we got to bond through all these and my helper got a well-deserved break so this was not a bad thing at all (: 

Piano lesson starts tmr and I'm feeling pretty stressed/unprepared so I will spend today practicing scales/learning new pieces. 

My math has gone back to F9 because I can't even do my sec3 eoy paper anymore and I'm pretty screwed esp since hc will be really scarily competitive so I'm going to practice more math

I'm not done packing my room either but I'm going to sleep a bit more first because badcramps because eye hurts (idk if it's sunburn, insufficient sleep or if I'm just going blind from D) because 休息是为了走更长的路 and I'm tryin not to fall sick because I'm trying to escape from this world. 

So this was a long post but you can take your own sweet time to read/read one para each day because here's a new 2014 resolution: blog less. (/ stop blogging but this will be near impossible in the near future)

Also as part of my less awks more guts resolution, I decided to put up my blog link on FB. As a dare, I will keep it up for a minimum period of a week. If my guts die I will remove it after a week. If they don't it will stay. Not that I want to attract more readers. I just realized that most ppl who know of/read this place have got to be ppl since before sec3 or sth (I removed my blog link last year) and most of these ppl have left my life so this place is kinda dead (ok there are somehow still an average of 30views/day but) so I will give a chance to let others know me. Plus there isn't anything to hide here (other than the obvious fact that ppl will know about my life and thoughts). Maybe if I step out of my comfort zone abit, I can be less awkward. 

Also since I'm intending to blog less the privacy thing hopefully will be less of a problem.

就这样！you are dam good if you read finish this post in one read. I applaud you and award you a loyal reader award.

11.23pm

I'm back because I need to clarify stuff.  

Idk whether to feel extremely guilty/sorry for making people worried or whether to laugh out loud for causing a few people to suddenly become extra sentimental XD

GUYS, I'm finee! Nothing is wrong w me and I do have certain probs but they aren't new hahaha.

Thanks a lot for the explosion of concern. I'm really fine la HAHAHAHA and sorry I didn't go near my phone for hours cos I was spending time w my family and my piano. 

I said I was gonna try to blog less, not that I am dying tmr hahaha. 

Thanks though. I'm rlly touched and I know that there are people who really care! 

So sorry if I made you worried/panic/guilty/idkwhat haha sorry i didn't intend for my post to come out like that >< 

I mean if you weren't here before this post and all that then just go back to like what we were before/ no need to suddenly start talking to me and being extra nice to me k cos I will feel awkward and weird too ahaha

But really thanks to the people that are here tonight, for the assurance that y'all are still here and that you guys still care. It means more to me than y'all will ever know! (: 

God has also, for some reason, spoken to me tonight/feels like He's especially here tonight although I'm Seriously feeling normal and fine. 

The messages are clear and encouraging 

I feel safe and calm knowing He's here no matter what (: 

Goodnight, and relax, I'm still good and alive and annoying adeline la haha! I'll be back soon cos I srsly doubt that I can stay away from this place for any significant length of time. Chill guys HAHAHAHA thanks for tgt making me laugh out loud tnite XD