-content removed-

10.09pm

Yesterday, after hours of being in a dilemma, I decided to attend the last frisbee training before trials, with the intent of confirming that what I wanted was band. I saw the training as a Last Time thing that I would really enjoy and say goodbye to happily after that, and even planned and thought out nicely how everything would work-

I might have made a mistake in even going for training. But a mistake I would not regret. I feel like frisbee is back on the list, I felt the Feels I felt when I just started doing this sport. I also feel pretty conflicted now cos it's like I've been on a swing for so long, and just when I thought that I confirm confirm confirm want band after yesterday, here came frisbee today that made me think "maybe a new change is really what I want, maybe I should really commit to this." I even thought of this quote that I see on twitter/social media often. It's something along the lines of "if you find yourself with two loves and unable to choose one, choose the second/later one, because if you truly loved the first one, you wouldn't have thought of the second one." 

(I am now applying this quote to my current situation although this is mainly for relationships I think?)

I am still unsure, so in the band context, today was a wasted trip, I wasted 4hrs of prac time which I promised Charmaine ytd that I will work doubly hard to make up for. Yet, I really don't think I regretted going for frisbee.

Anw, whatever decision I make Ultimately (HAHAHAHA e frisbee team is known as hc Ultimate), I know some part of me will die inside, and now I guess I just have to prepare for it.

I have been really touched these two days by some people!

-after self prac ytd, I was going for band reunion dinner and was super worried that Ashley decided nt to go anymore cos we left sch at like 6.30 when we wanted to leave at 6.15/reached at 7.40 instead of 7 and she wanted to go home early. Charmaine was also mia which made me rlly scared. But the trip there wasn't too bad cos I had nana! I felt really awkward/scared seeing the seniors (esp 2011 batch cos of all e bad experienced) but thank god for michlim who sat w our section and took care of me/ I'm familiar w and closer to her. 

Suddenly, I heard ppl sing te birthday song from like the other side of e room (the restaurant setting was kinda like in an L shape and our section was at the end so I couldn't see some parts/sections) and I started to sing along too cos I thought that it was some senior's/some other person's bday! Turns out it was Ashley and Charmaine holding the cake and I was like "wait is this for me", awkwardmama. And when reality dawned, I think I burst out laughing and crying at the same time because I rlly was so shocked and touched.

I got my first Awfully Chocolate cake (omg I love choc smuch/have been refraining from it for so long) and I was so happy haha 

Cake box lid/the only momento I could keep from this gift (': 

The seniors also gave me this huge yellow ball w all their well wishes and drew really nice stuff and everyth and I laughed out loud at Daniel's "sorry sorry sorry sorry HAHAHA". That plus a small-enough/portable piglet that I've alr put in my schoolbag and will bring w me wherever i go (-: 

Oh ya I forgot they got me this ribbon and asked me to wear it for e whole dinner but I didn't HAHAHHAA

This sixteenth year has been more than rough and rocky, I feel like I've grown up a lot and changed quite a bit too. Today is the last day of being 16, and so happy 16 years 11 months 30 days lwh hahaha I just felt like dedicating this chunk to today. 

I shall stop feeling sad that everyone will be busy celebrating cny tmr and I think everyone is already busy now cos other than roo, the other closer friends have been really cold/Dao tonight like I sent a text to a few ppl to ask sth and they just replied w one line and some prolly too busy to even incl punctuation. But yeah it's no one's fault that it's cny so I'm going to just Suck it Up.

Idk what to wear tmr and i dun think I have anywhere to go to after e sch celeb/nt going back to ny cos no one asked me to/e ppl I asked dun intend to go back hahahaha. So I abit really dw to go to school tmr but I still have to cos bday doesn't mean I'm a boss/can pon sch/anything. Looking on the bright side, at least i can come home after e sch celeb to... Pack my room before watching running man and laugh a lot/make my own day before going for reunion dinner (-: (The dad just walked in and suan-ed me for nt having packed my room since like last year) 

Conclu: Satisfied with celebs these 2 days, not hoping for anything else alr, and I will nt worry about tmr's chaos and just live in e moment! 

1. Thank God I survived today nearly completely harmless (I didn't even have to think bout e hospital (-:) this is god's blessings and protection

2. Bday celebration by Saxos14

3. Jerlyn, Valerie and Munkit for taking a lot of time to talk to me/us

-content removed-

10.09pm

Yesterday, after hours of being in a dilemma, I decided to attend the last frisbee training before trials, with the intent of confirming that what I wanted was band. I saw the training as a Last Time thing that I would really enjoy and say goodbye to happily after that, and even planned and thought out nicely how everything would work-

I might have made a mistake in even going for training. But a mistake I would not regret. I feel like frisbee is back on the list, I felt the Feels I felt when I just started doing this sport. I also feel pretty conflicted now cos it's like I've been on a swing for so long, and just when I thought that I confirm confirm confirm want band after yesterday, here came frisbee today that made me think "maybe a new change is really what I want, maybe I should really commit to this." I even thought of this quote that I see on twitter/social media often. It's something along the lines of "if you find yourself with two loves and unable to choose one, choose the second/later one, because if you truly loved the first one, you wouldn't have thought of the second one." 

(I am now applying this quote to my current situation although this is mainly for relationships I think?)

I am still unsure, so in the band context, today was a wasted trip, I wasted 4hrs of prac time which I promised Charmaine ytd that I will work doubly hard to make up for. Yet, I really don't think I regretted going for frisbee.

Anw, whatever decision I make Ultimately (HAHAHAHA e frisbee team is known as hc Ultimate), I know some part of me will die inside, and now I guess I just have to prepare for it.

I have been really touched these two days by some people!

-after self prac ytd, I was going for band reunion dinner and was super worried that Ashley decided nt to go anymore cos we left sch at like 6.30 when we wanted to leave at 6.15/reached at 7.40 instead of 7 and she wanted to go home early. Charmaine was also mia which made me rlly scared. But the trip there wasn't too bad cos I had nana! I felt really awkward/scared seeing the seniors (esp 2011 batch cos of all e bad experienced) but thank god for michlim who sat w our section and took care of me/ I'm familiar w and closer to her. 

Suddenly, I heard ppl sing te birthday song from like the other side of e room (the restaurant setting was kinda like in an L shape and our section was at the end so I couldn't see some parts/sections) and I started to sing along too cos I thought that it was some senior's/some other person's bday! Turns out it was Ashley and Charmaine holding the cake and I was like "wait is this for me", awkwardmama. And when reality dawned, I think I burst out laughing and crying at the same time because I rlly was so shocked and touched.

I got my first Awfully Chocolate cake (omg I love choc smuch/have been refraining from it for so long) and I was so happy haha 

Cake box lid/the only momento I could keep from this gift (': 

The seniors also gave me this huge yellow ball w all their well wishes and drew really nice stuff and everyth and I laughed out loud at Daniel's "sorry sorry sorry sorry HAHAHA". That plus a small-enough/portable piglet that I've alr put in my schoolbag and will bring w me wherever i go (-: 

Oh ya I forgot they got me this ribbon and asked me to wear it for e whole dinner but I didn't HAHAHHAA

This sixteenth year has been more than rough and rocky, I feel like I've grown up a lot and changed quite a bit too. Today is the last day of being 16, and so happy 16 years 11 months 30 days lwh hahaha I just felt like dedicating this chunk to today. 

I shall stop feeling sad that everyone will be busy celebrating cny tmr and I think everyone is already busy now cos other than roo, the other closer friends have been really cold/Dao tonight like I sent a text to a few ppl to ask sth and they just replied w one line and some prolly too busy to even incl punctuation. But yeah it's no one's fault that it's cny so I'm going to just Suck it Up.

Idk what to wear tmr and i dun think I have anywhere to go to after e sch celeb/nt going back to ny cos no one asked me to/e ppl I asked dun intend to go back hahahaha. So I abit really dw to go to school tmr but I still have to cos bday doesn't mean I'm a boss/can pon sch/anything. Looking on the bright side, at least i can come home after e sch celeb to... Pack my room before watching running man and laugh a lot/make my own day before going for reunion dinner (-: (The dad just walked in and suan-ed me for nt having packed my room since like last year) 

Conclu: Satisfied with celebs these 2 days, not hoping for anything else alr, and I will nt worry about tmr's chaos and just live in e moment! 

1. Thank God I survived today nearly completely harmless (I didn't even have to think bout e hospital (-:) this is god's blessings and protection

2. Bday celebration by Saxos14

3. Jerlyn, Valerie and Munkit for taking a lot of time to talk to me/us