19/1 contradictions
Sunday, January 19, 2014 | 1/19/2014 01:56:00 AM | 0 comments12.48am
Today was a pretty content heavy day.
1. CG
Spent the afternoon with Authentic girls, although we didn't do much/what we wanted to do ( jam/karaoke), the time spent together was blessed and enjoyable. Didn't wanna go initially (you'll know why later) but I'm pretty glad I did. These friends postponed e whole outing fr Wednesday to today just for me.(-:
2. Lying around
On the table is the unused (cos I usually forget to bring) frisbee disc that has a post it note saying "flick me!!"-- what I was supposed to do this weekend.
The bassoon lying against the table needs to be well used by me cos concert is a month away.
I have not touched either and don't think I'm able to this weekend, so I think it pretty much spells "Screwed" for trainings/pracs this week
3. Piano lesson
•"You have to learn to make judgements and decisions, even small decisions like phrasing the notes in each bar, and building up the emotions and intensity over three bars."
•"are you intending to join band in jc?"
"..might not join"
"Oh that's great news! Band can be so time consuming!"
•"/student who's lesson was after mine entered the house/
Relax, she's nice and not going to bite. I could feel you tense up the moment she walked in."
4. Family
Had dinner w the gramps again, and for the second time since forever, ahma cooked a dish to bring over. My ahma is a fabulous cook-I cannot describe how good the taste of her food is. The dinner was simple and heartwarming, yet throughout, I could see their slowing movements, whitening heads, depleting strength, and started to irrationally fear. I pray every day for their health, safety, and happiness.
5. Health
The hypocounts have been on the low side these few days- waking up in the wee hours of the night shivering and sweating like a mad cow seriously feels like Sh!t. And that happened for the past 4 nights with crazy readings between 1.8-3.2. It feels plain tiring, annoying and.. hungry, the extreme you'll-only-know-it-if-you're-a-d type of hunger.
And all the sweets and milo that enter the body in the middle of the night while the digestive system is asleep simply turn into fats.
On top of ^, different parts of the body have been screwing up simultaneously for the past week or so, but it was only today that I brought the not-so-common part up to the parents cos it kinda got baddd. (I won't continue boring ppl here w lame details) The dad&helper think that there's sth wrong w my blood/pressure/idk what, and if there really is, I will go see e doct after Tuesday's math test. Or Wednesday, since it'd be the last day of e school weekkkkk. They've been asking me to go out less, but it's kinda Hard with cca everyday, and cg outing which I couldn't afford to pangseh after they postponed for me, and Pam's bday lunch is tmr, and there's so much math to do. So just pray that everything can last until then. I think I can, and if I believe I can, I can.
6. Subject combi
I've been in a serious dilemma these few days over subject combi- I honestly can't decide between chem and history, and the dilemma is killing me. Many many many ppl have been trying to advice/help me, but I know that as much as they can advice me, ultimately the decision making still lies with me. I wish someone could help me decide cos I hate making decisions, (note- Hate X100000) especially ones that will affect my life. I will pray more and really hope that God can show me a way cos I feel quite scared.
7. Contradiction
Just a few days ago, I made the resolution to be a Fast(er) person. Today, I've decided that maybe I just don't want to be fast/ warm up to anybody anymore. So I'm going to stop trying (/hard), because it's just self-deception. Idw anyone to be near anymore. I'll just put in effort to keep the people who are here, and if they do leave then I'll just have fewer people here. That's all. No more new ppl walking in, no more taking risks of people leaving- I'll be pretty safe in my own shell. Cowardly, but safe. Yes.
8. Giving thanks
As seen from ^, my life is kinda in a huge huge mess right now. A whirlpool might be a fitting description. The studies and health are uh-uh (I has to consider ponning training tmr now to save my sorry ass from math and health).
I'm pretty freaking screwed up for subject combi/ ccas/ decisionS-making.
My ships are all in /inserts-scene-in-Frozen-where-king&queen's-ship-gets-engulfed-by-the-waves/ danger.
But. I have God. and I've learnt/will learn that in such whirlpools, JESUS BE THE CENTRE OF IT ALL. Yes, He will save my sorry S and provide a wide enough path for fat me to get to where I need to be eventually.
I thank God that I have Him. And He will never leave or abandon me.
9. I hope I will sleep in peace/not get awoken tonight. I hope I will wake up tmr. I hope I will not feel funny tmr. I hope math gets better progress. I hope tmr will be a better day. Tomorrow Will be a better day.
Cos he makes me smile (-:
(Posted 3.12pm cos "retry upload" was not seen till now)
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19/1 contradictions
Sunday, January 19, 2014 | 1/19/2014 01:56:00 AM | 0 comments12.48am
Today was a pretty content heavy day.
1. CG
Spent the afternoon with Authentic girls, although we didn't do much/what we wanted to do ( jam/karaoke), the time spent together was blessed and enjoyable. Didn't wanna go initially (you'll know why later) but I'm pretty glad I did. These friends postponed e whole outing fr Wednesday to today just for me.(-:
2. Lying around
On the table is the unused (cos I usually forget to bring) frisbee disc that has a post it note saying "flick me!!"-- what I was supposed to do this weekend.
The bassoon lying against the table needs to be well used by me cos concert is a month away.
I have not touched either and don't think I'm able to this weekend, so I think it pretty much spells "Screwed" for trainings/pracs this week
3. Piano lesson
•"You have to learn to make judgements and decisions, even small decisions like phrasing the notes in each bar, and building up the emotions and intensity over three bars."
•"are you intending to join band in jc?"
"..might not join"
"Oh that's great news! Band can be so time consuming!"
•"/student who's lesson was after mine entered the house/
Relax, she's nice and not going to bite. I could feel you tense up the moment she walked in."
4. Family
Had dinner w the gramps again, and for the second time since forever, ahma cooked a dish to bring over. My ahma is a fabulous cook-I cannot describe how good the taste of her food is. The dinner was simple and heartwarming, yet throughout, I could see their slowing movements, whitening heads, depleting strength, and started to irrationally fear. I pray every day for their health, safety, and happiness.
5. Health
The hypocounts have been on the low side these few days- waking up in the wee hours of the night shivering and sweating like a mad cow seriously feels like Sh!t. And that happened for the past 4 nights with crazy readings between 1.8-3.2. It feels plain tiring, annoying and.. hungry, the extreme you'll-only-know-it-if-you're-a-d type of hunger.
And all the sweets and milo that enter the body in the middle of the night while the digestive system is asleep simply turn into fats.
On top of ^, different parts of the body have been screwing up simultaneously for the past week or so, but it was only today that I brought the not-so-common part up to the parents cos it kinda got baddd. (I won't continue boring ppl here w lame details) The dad&helper think that there's sth wrong w my blood/pressure/idk what, and if there really is, I will go see e doct after Tuesday's math test. Or Wednesday, since it'd be the last day of e school weekkkkk. They've been asking me to go out less, but it's kinda Hard with cca everyday, and cg outing which I couldn't afford to pangseh after they postponed for me, and Pam's bday lunch is tmr, and there's so much math to do. So just pray that everything can last until then. I think I can, and if I believe I can, I can.
6. Subject combi
I've been in a serious dilemma these few days over subject combi- I honestly can't decide between chem and history, and the dilemma is killing me. Many many many ppl have been trying to advice/help me, but I know that as much as they can advice me, ultimately the decision making still lies with me. I wish someone could help me decide cos I hate making decisions, (note- Hate X100000) especially ones that will affect my life. I will pray more and really hope that God can show me a way cos I feel quite scared.
7. Contradiction
Just a few days ago, I made the resolution to be a Fast(er) person. Today, I've decided that maybe I just don't want to be fast/ warm up to anybody anymore. So I'm going to stop trying (/hard), because it's just self-deception. Idw anyone to be near anymore. I'll just put in effort to keep the people who are here, and if they do leave then I'll just have fewer people here. That's all. No more new ppl walking in, no more taking risks of people leaving- I'll be pretty safe in my own shell. Cowardly, but safe. Yes.
8. Giving thanks
As seen from ^, my life is kinda in a huge huge mess right now. A whirlpool might be a fitting description. The studies and health are uh-uh (I has to consider ponning training tmr now to save my sorry ass from math and health).
I'm pretty freaking screwed up for subject combi/ ccas/ decisionS-making.
My ships are all in /inserts-scene-in-Frozen-where-king&queen's-ship-gets-engulfed-by-the-waves/ danger.
But. I have God. and I've learnt/will learn that in such whirlpools, JESUS BE THE CENTRE OF IT ALL. Yes, He will save my sorry S and provide a wide enough path for fat me to get to where I need to be eventually.
I thank God that I have Him. And He will never leave or abandon me.
9. I hope I will sleep in peace/not get awoken tonight. I hope I will wake up tmr. I hope I will not feel funny tmr. I hope math gets better progress. I hope tmr will be a better day. Tomorrow Will be a better day.
Cos he makes me smile (-:
(Posted 3.12pm cos "retry upload" was not seen till now)
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