1. eyesight is still perfect and eyes are unaffected by D (yet) 

2. need to get myself discharged from Kkh/transfer to a more grown up hospital cos kkh is too much for me now (spazzing over kids + cringing at crying babies + A Lot of Noise drove my blood pressure up)

3. Vision was blurred/couldn't see anything on my phone after e checkup but luckily smartkid97 got help to Enlarge the font then at least can see blurry letters/make out what hilarious ppl like roo were trying to say. The nurses and doctor were like "please stay indoors today and not go under glaring sunlight cos it'd damage your eyes and be very painful" 

Guess whether rebel97 actually Listened :p

4.Frisbee was okay today aka I wasn't in a (very) bad state! managed to catch most of e discs during this drill where we had to run into a triangle to catch it with 3 J3 seniors distracting at e corners. But most of the girls were injured/sat out so idk if my "okay" performance was really okay or just cos the best ppl sat out Heh.

The eyes were kinda stinging/burning throughout, but Id been mentally prepared by e medical team so was physically able to endure it! Just that I ended up having super buttery fingers/nearly every disc that was passed to me during the only game I played Dropped. Idk if it's cos of the blurred vision+sweat+running that made me unable to see but I should nt use e eye thing as an excuse cos I managed to do all e other drills properly. (although they did nt involve having to run/so much) 

I'm really one of the weakest players in the team and after being demoralized for 2 days, I am finally going to pick myself up from all the dung now. After today, I decided im gonna take marcus seriously and really put in more effort. If 80% isn't enough, I will push myself to give 100% every session. I'll work hard and train hard outside to sprint fast and work more on speed instead of stamina. 

I will work hard to be good enough for the team. 

I will stop telling myself the excuse that "you've nt been doing any sports for 2years cos of health reasons so it's ok to suck/ don't push yourself too hard" 

I will be a brand new determinedkid97. 

I can do this. 

(And please let me succeed God idw to fail again and again and again please let me be good enough one day x(( ) 

5. Ive edited and deleted the evil parts from 13-14/1 cos, I was just honestly in a terrible mood that day and was overly harsh with my words. Today, (maybe cos I have a guilty conscience) I tried harder to be nicer to everyone (esp e 2) (/I even cheered [/attempted to] during the games when I don't usually Shout "jiayou" to a bunch of ppl I'm not close to in front of a whole group of stranger guys) 

The 5 6 (sorry my bad) of us talked quite a bit on FB after training today, like honest stuff. 

Conclusion:

-I'm able to accept/have accepted the 2 ppl who I had problems with on mon.

-they were never bad, it was just me who had probs on Monday. 

-I think I'm finally starting to open up to these 4   5  people/ the frisbee team.(:

6. Mom said GO said they won't be able to give me original certs anymore although they will certify it a true copy.  Disappointed can't describe how upset I am w myself/idk how I managed to survive in ny/going to survive in hc when i can't even keep 2 pieces of paper properly but there's no point crying so I won't. 

7. My dad was seriously pissed when I got home (I tried to Rush but w injured ppl we couldn't move very quickly) and like he scolded me like asdfghjkl cos he was e one who brought me to Kkh this morning/alr warned me not to go Heh and he hasn't scolded me in a long time but haiya just hope 皇上快点息怒.  

8. This bad incident on Monday and today's training taught me that actually I really should stop being Slow.

I'm dam slow to react (eg when on defense. Or on offense. Or just on the sports platform in general), I'm (too) slow at warming up to strangers, I'm slow at accepting criticism/scoldings. I need to be faster. 

If I warmed up to people faster, mon's anger probably wouldn't have developed. I guess I really dislike Loud people. A Lot. But they aren't mean people and if I'd warmed up to them Before mon, I wouldn't have felt so evil. Irdk how to change my warming up issues, like really really dk how to, but I've realized it and I guess it's e first step to success?

Also, If I accepted Marcus' words from the start (incl shorts), my negativity towards frisbee wouldn't have reached the extent it did on monday

I just need to be faster a person. I just need to work harder and put in more effort. I just need to push away all the poop and negativity. I can be good enough. I will be good enough someday. Yes.

9. 3 things to thank my God for:

1. Thank you God for the news of my still perfect eyesight/unaffected eyes, it meant a lot to me and is a blessing. Thank you for giving me more hope and the subtle reminder to look at the beauty of this world more than its..sad side. 

2. Thank you God, for showing me your love and helping me realize that I myself am with many flaws/do not deserved to be loved too, so that I could stop judging others. Thank you for giving me more than enough love so that I could (try to) care more for e people who I had difficulty accepting, and instead view them as Your loved ones that I have to treat with love and care. Thank you for giving me the courage to open up more today. Please help me to see more and more qualities and strengths of everyone in the team instead of their flaws, keep me steady and always ++!

3. Thank you God, for loving imperfect me so much, even when I'm always not good enough for everything and everyone, much less the perfect You. It means a lot to me and keeps me going. 

Thank you for being that source of motivation for me to stand up everytime I get pushed down by this world, just because you care. 

10. The cny decorations for the horse year make me feel more like we are about to celebrate the year of Unicorns. 

I'm sorry for the long post/being bipolar/saying sorry/Everything again.

I think every + moment I have should be jotted down, so that I can look back during - moments and be Neutralized. 

Yep thanks sorry bye.

1. eyesight is still perfect and eyes are unaffected by D (yet) 

2. need to get myself discharged from Kkh/transfer to a more grown up hospital cos kkh is too much for me now (spazzing over kids + cringing at crying babies + A Lot of Noise drove my blood pressure up)

3. Vision was blurred/couldn't see anything on my phone after e checkup but luckily smartkid97 got help to Enlarge the font then at least can see blurry letters/make out what hilarious ppl like roo were trying to say. The nurses and doctor were like "please stay indoors today and not go under glaring sunlight cos it'd damage your eyes and be very painful" 

Guess whether rebel97 actually Listened :p

4.Frisbee was okay today aka I wasn't in a (very) bad state! managed to catch most of e discs during this drill where we had to run into a triangle to catch it with 3 J3 seniors distracting at e corners. But most of the girls were injured/sat out so idk if my "okay" performance was really okay or just cos the best ppl sat out Heh.

The eyes were kinda stinging/burning throughout, but Id been mentally prepared by e medical team so was physically able to endure it! Just that I ended up having super buttery fingers/nearly every disc that was passed to me during the only game I played Dropped. Idk if it's cos of the blurred vision+sweat+running that made me unable to see but I should nt use e eye thing as an excuse cos I managed to do all e other drills properly. (although they did nt involve having to run/so much) 

I'm really one of the weakest players in the team and after being demoralized for 2 days, I am finally going to pick myself up from all the dung now. After today, I decided im gonna take marcus seriously and really put in more effort. If 80% isn't enough, I will push myself to give 100% every session. I'll work hard and train hard outside to sprint fast and work more on speed instead of stamina. 

I will work hard to be good enough for the team. 

I will stop telling myself the excuse that "you've nt been doing any sports for 2years cos of health reasons so it's ok to suck/ don't push yourself too hard" 

I will be a brand new determinedkid97. 

I can do this. 

(And please let me succeed God idw to fail again and again and again please let me be good enough one day x(( ) 

5. Ive edited and deleted the evil parts from 13-14/1 cos, I was just honestly in a terrible mood that day and was overly harsh with my words. Today, (maybe cos I have a guilty conscience) I tried harder to be nicer to everyone (esp e 2) (/I even cheered [/attempted to] during the games when I don't usually Shout "jiayou" to a bunch of ppl I'm not close to in front of a whole group of stranger guys) 

The 5 6 (sorry my bad) of us talked quite a bit on FB after training today, like honest stuff. 

Conclusion:

-I'm able to accept/have accepted the 2 ppl who I had problems with on mon.

-they were never bad, it was just me who had probs on Monday. 

-I think I'm finally starting to open up to these 4   5  people/ the frisbee team.(:

6. Mom said GO said they won't be able to give me original certs anymore although they will certify it a true copy.  Disappointed can't describe how upset I am w myself/idk how I managed to survive in ny/going to survive in hc when i can't even keep 2 pieces of paper properly but there's no point crying so I won't. 

7. My dad was seriously pissed when I got home (I tried to Rush but w injured ppl we couldn't move very quickly) and like he scolded me like asdfghjkl cos he was e one who brought me to Kkh this morning/alr warned me not to go Heh and he hasn't scolded me in a long time but haiya just hope 皇上快点息怒.  

8. This bad incident on Monday and today's training taught me that actually I really should stop being Slow.

I'm dam slow to react (eg when on defense. Or on offense. Or just on the sports platform in general), I'm (too) slow at warming up to strangers, I'm slow at accepting criticism/scoldings. I need to be faster. 

If I warmed up to people faster, mon's anger probably wouldn't have developed. I guess I really dislike Loud people. A Lot. But they aren't mean people and if I'd warmed up to them Before mon, I wouldn't have felt so evil. Irdk how to change my warming up issues, like really really dk how to, but I've realized it and I guess it's e first step to success?

Also, If I accepted Marcus' words from the start (incl shorts), my negativity towards frisbee wouldn't have reached the extent it did on monday

I just need to be faster a person. I just need to work harder and put in more effort. I just need to push away all the poop and negativity. I can be good enough. I will be good enough someday. Yes.

9. 3 things to thank my God for:

1. Thank you God for the news of my still perfect eyesight/unaffected eyes, it meant a lot to me and is a blessing. Thank you for giving me more hope and the subtle reminder to look at the beauty of this world more than its..sad side. 

2. Thank you God, for showing me your love and helping me realize that I myself am with many flaws/do not deserved to be loved too, so that I could stop judging others. Thank you for giving me more than enough love so that I could (try to) care more for e people who I had difficulty accepting, and instead view them as Your loved ones that I have to treat with love and care. Thank you for giving me the courage to open up more today. Please help me to see more and more qualities and strengths of everyone in the team instead of their flaws, keep me steady and always ++!

3. Thank you God, for loving imperfect me so much, even when I'm always not good enough for everything and everyone, much less the perfect You. It means a lot to me and keeps me going. 

Thank you for being that source of motivation for me to stand up everytime I get pushed down by this world, just because you care. 

10. The cny decorations for the horse year make me feel more like we are about to celebrate the year of Unicorns. 

I'm sorry for the long post/being bipolar/saying sorry/Everything again.

I think every + moment I have should be jotted down, so that I can look back during - moments and be Neutralized. 

Yep thanks sorry bye.