Hiiiiiiii

I'm feeling abit Awkward after not having published anything public for nearly 3 months

And I'm sorry for that

And if you're here reading this rn after 3 months of me being awol, thank you so much.

So. Things have been pretty crazy haha, as usual.

I was just skimming through everything before removing them and I realized how much things have changed, yet remained the same.

These 3 months, I think I have lost more than I have gained, in terms of friendships and maybe character. 

But I thank God, for having lead me through this period of craziness, for having been here at times when no one was, for having showered me with so much love and more miracles that I could ever have hoped for/expected, and for angels who have cared for, been patient with, kept me sane and yknow, been angels /inserts halo&flutteringwings for em/

Some of these angels have just left my life recently. (Maybe not literally but inside the heart thing)

Or more of, most of these angels are no longer fully here

But no one can be, except God. I've understood that fully.

Still, I will not forget how they walked through (not all but) many of the darkest times with me

Yep.

So, I've graduated.

God gave me at least 4 miracles through the school to make my final msg (mean subject grade) one I would never ever have expected.

It was at this point where i already did te best I could, all the results were in fact Confirmed, and I knew that it was as far as my own abilities could get me. I was prepared for the worst.

Suddenly the school started doing modulations (each one pushed my grades all the way up) and throwing in 1%s, (really this 1% saved me from failing NY's passing=B3 criteria for im2)

Prom was something similar. I didn't expect myself to enjoy it at all, in fact I had 3 options/plans before the actual event:

1. Escape and roam around school w ( )

2. Hide in the toilet w ( )

3. Tell ( ) to come over and reduce awkwardness

I did not have to resort to any, cos God planned things so perfectly from the moment I stepped out of the car in the Audi and met a close classmate, to ending up sitting beside my pri sch friend at a table supposedly shared between 2 groups of strangers. 

If I have not gained anything else throughout these 3months, I've at least grown stronger in my faith, thank God for showing me so much.

But my trust in people has kinda reached a record low and idk haha I'm still kinda having trouble with ships. Some I know will eventually be gone (cos we will be going in such different directions) but I'm still trying to hold on now and praying that maybe if I believe things will work out, they really will. 

I'm also stuck in moving on from sec1-2-3-4 (sec1 was so recent yet so long ago) to jc. I think I'm having serious difficulty crossing the gap/bridge/wtv between sec sch& jc or ny&hc

Choosing those ip activities made me feel like crying I was scared if I didn't choose the compulsory ones properly/missed out anything then Tadum Gone no one cares. I miss nanyang a lot alr (sorry this sounds so baby) and how we had so so many chances to err and learn.

Then there's cca HAHAHAHA don't laugh but fattybombom here is going to try out frisbee/floorball besides band because..I wanna try new things (but honestly I would rather run back to band any moment and suffer under having no bassoon section/all the sadbad things bout band once more with my guts.)

I trust God to lead the way, that's all I can say for now. I'll go tryout frisbee and floorball this/next week.

And I know before I left that I said I would slim down/come back looking better but I'm sorry to disappoint I think nothing's changed if not I changed to look worse than before but EMBRACE ME FOR WHO I AM. 

(Ok sorry that was prolly meant more for myself. )

(Can I add in an excuse that I've been quite seriously sick for uhm idk since June and I'm recovering only now)

I've been running againnnn like ytddddd and today the morning showers prevented me but NO I will not get beaten Down I'm going running this evening (:

Hopefully by next year I can be like just fatty and not fattybombom I hope I won't get laughed at by seniors and everyone and I hope I don't look too bad sigh ok nvm 

I've been reading a lot too. Like novel after novel after novel after novel, ignoring essential things like getting a life, starting on my thesis paper, blah. Buttttt I've been reading actually cos I want to learn to be less sentimental and move on more quickly/learn to let go.

So the books you see me read aren't those highly educational kind but more of just really reading for plain leisure, for storylines that will get me into them and shut me out of them after the last page of the book. 

I've also been watching running man (since nana and I watched ep4 tgt and they were so funny I almost died laughing/crying/clutching my somach) 

Yes they keep me happy haha but I'm only at ep11 now (started fr 1) 

((And it would be nice if someone could give me other links to watch it besides on runmanclub.net cos the videos kinda stop for 10secs after every min/replays some past scene for 10secs))

Yep that's basically my not-really-a-life life now. 

I left 3 posts here just in case anyone wants to take a peek into the past 3 months

Theyre all basically actually more of the points where I got random bursts of determination to stand up and ignore/face all the ahwiansapoop that life has to offer 

(But I guess I kinda keep falling down ok nvm)

I have also created askfm but not alerted most of the world so you can go ask qtns/say stuff anonymously if you want to (I hope not-too-mean stuff)

 http://ask.fm/miL_eniledA

Andddd ok no obligations but it would be really nice if I could know Why people actually visit this place haha I feel weird ok nvm

7.35pm

Just came back from day2 of "Plan:Get Fit"

timing today was 3/4 of ytd's(:

(Prolly cos ytd I was crawwwwwling)

(And actually it wasn't even that far like only 2+km heh but Stillll it's an attempttt.)

My bro actually lost stamina faster than me HAHAHAHA but okk he's 4 years younger and not so developed blahblahblah. But at the beginning when he was full of energy, he was nice enough to run in pace w me and not yknow, dash off or sth. someone's becoming a gentlemen~

Practiced piano for 2hrs before running so my limbs feel loose and hanging /muscles in arms/legs feeling that feel but it feels good to exercise yes HAHAHAHA 

I finished a novel in e early afternoon too hehe omg if you guys are still in those mainstream novels thing go pick up 

1. The Extraordinary Secrets of April, May and June-Robin Benway

(these 3 sisters in high school have cool powers and yes there is abit of romance too)

2. Also Known As- Robin Benway

(This girl/family is a Spy and she goes to  school for the first time in her life, makes a new best friend and gets a bf this one has more romance) 

I finished these 2 books in like 10hrs ahhh they're really interesting/good

Okk Day2 of packing the room later!

Songs of the day:

Laserlight- Jessie J

Turning Tables- Adele

#np La La Land- Demi Lovato

/

10.25pm

Sudden doesn't know where to go ahh

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

Trying to break down own wall but seem to just be making things worse.

Ok maybe I just need to breathe. And give everything more time

11.44pm

太乱，无次序的一天

那么多的  未知

恐惧

听着 Still/Hillsong

无意中，

落泪了

Hiiiiiiii

I'm feeling abit Awkward after not having published anything public for nearly 3 months

And I'm sorry for that

And if you're here reading this rn after 3 months of me being awol, thank you so much.

So. Things have been pretty crazy haha, as usual.

I was just skimming through everything before removing them and I realized how much things have changed, yet remained the same.

These 3 months, I think I have lost more than I have gained, in terms of friendships and maybe character. 

But I thank God, for having lead me through this period of craziness, for having been here at times when no one was, for having showered me with so much love and more miracles that I could ever have hoped for/expected, and for angels who have cared for, been patient with, kept me sane and yknow, been angels /inserts halo&flutteringwings for em/

Some of these angels have just left my life recently. (Maybe not literally but inside the heart thing)

Or more of, most of these angels are no longer fully here

But no one can be, except God. I've understood that fully.

Still, I will not forget how they walked through (not all but) many of the darkest times with me

Yep.

So, I've graduated.

God gave me at least 4 miracles through the school to make my final msg (mean subject grade) one I would never ever have expected.

It was at this point where i already did te best I could, all the results were in fact Confirmed, and I knew that it was as far as my own abilities could get me. I was prepared for the worst.

Suddenly the school started doing modulations (each one pushed my grades all the way up) and throwing in 1%s, (really this 1% saved me from failing NY's passing=B3 criteria for im2)

Prom was something similar. I didn't expect myself to enjoy it at all, in fact I had 3 options/plans before the actual event:

1. Escape and roam around school w ( )

2. Hide in the toilet w ( )

3. Tell ( ) to come over and reduce awkwardness

I did not have to resort to any, cos God planned things so perfectly from the moment I stepped out of the car in the Audi and met a close classmate, to ending up sitting beside my pri sch friend at a table supposedly shared between 2 groups of strangers. 

If I have not gained anything else throughout these 3months, I've at least grown stronger in my faith, thank God for showing me so much.

But my trust in people has kinda reached a record low and idk haha I'm still kinda having trouble with ships. Some I know will eventually be gone (cos we will be going in such different directions) but I'm still trying to hold on now and praying that maybe if I believe things will work out, they really will. 

I'm also stuck in moving on from sec1-2-3-4 (sec1 was so recent yet so long ago) to jc. I think I'm having serious difficulty crossing the gap/bridge/wtv between sec sch& jc or ny&hc

Choosing those ip activities made me feel like crying I was scared if I didn't choose the compulsory ones properly/missed out anything then Tadum Gone no one cares. I miss nanyang a lot alr (sorry this sounds so baby) and how we had so so many chances to err and learn.

Then there's cca HAHAHAHA don't laugh but fattybombom here is going to try out frisbee/floorball besides band because..I wanna try new things (but honestly I would rather run back to band any moment and suffer under having no bassoon section/all the sadbad things bout band once more with my guts.)

I trust God to lead the way, that's all I can say for now. I'll go tryout frisbee and floorball this/next week.

And I know before I left that I said I would slim down/come back looking better but I'm sorry to disappoint I think nothing's changed if not I changed to look worse than before but EMBRACE ME FOR WHO I AM. 

(Ok sorry that was prolly meant more for myself. )

(Can I add in an excuse that I've been quite seriously sick for uhm idk since June and I'm recovering only now)

I've been running againnnn like ytddddd and today the morning showers prevented me but NO I will not get beaten Down I'm going running this evening (:

Hopefully by next year I can be like just fatty and not fattybombom I hope I won't get laughed at by seniors and everyone and I hope I don't look too bad sigh ok nvm 

I've been reading a lot too. Like novel after novel after novel after novel, ignoring essential things like getting a life, starting on my thesis paper, blah. Buttttt I've been reading actually cos I want to learn to be less sentimental and move on more quickly/learn to let go.

So the books you see me read aren't those highly educational kind but more of just really reading for plain leisure, for storylines that will get me into them and shut me out of them after the last page of the book. 

I've also been watching running man (since nana and I watched ep4 tgt and they were so funny I almost died laughing/crying/clutching my somach) 

Yes they keep me happy haha but I'm only at ep11 now (started fr 1) 

((And it would be nice if someone could give me other links to watch it besides on runmanclub.net cos the videos kinda stop for 10secs after every min/replays some past scene for 10secs))

Yep that's basically my not-really-a-life life now. 

I left 3 posts here just in case anyone wants to take a peek into the past 3 months

Theyre all basically actually more of the points where I got random bursts of determination to stand up and ignore/face all the ahwiansapoop that life has to offer 

(But I guess I kinda keep falling down ok nvm)

I have also created askfm but not alerted most of the world so you can go ask qtns/say stuff anonymously if you want to (I hope not-too-mean stuff)

 http://ask.fm/miL_eniledA

Andddd ok no obligations but it would be really nice if I could know Why people actually visit this place haha I feel weird ok nvm

7.35pm

Just came back from day2 of "Plan:Get Fit"

timing today was 3/4 of ytd's(:

(Prolly cos ytd I was crawwwwwling)

(And actually it wasn't even that far like only 2+km heh but Stillll it's an attempttt.)

My bro actually lost stamina faster than me HAHAHAHA but okk he's 4 years younger and not so developed blahblahblah. But at the beginning when he was full of energy, he was nice enough to run in pace w me and not yknow, dash off or sth. someone's becoming a gentlemen~

Practiced piano for 2hrs before running so my limbs feel loose and hanging /muscles in arms/legs feeling that feel but it feels good to exercise yes HAHAHAHA 

I finished a novel in e early afternoon too hehe omg if you guys are still in those mainstream novels thing go pick up 

1. The Extraordinary Secrets of April, May and June-Robin Benway

(these 3 sisters in high school have cool powers and yes there is abit of romance too)

2. Also Known As- Robin Benway

(This girl/family is a Spy and she goes to  school for the first time in her life, makes a new best friend and gets a bf this one has more romance) 

I finished these 2 books in like 10hrs ahhh they're really interesting/good

Okk Day2 of packing the room later!

Songs of the day:

Laserlight- Jessie J

Turning Tables- Adele

#np La La Land- Demi Lovato

/

10.25pm

Sudden doesn't know where to go ahh

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

Trying to break down own wall but seem to just be making things worse.

Ok maybe I just need to breathe. And give everything more time

11.44pm

太乱，无次序的一天

那么多的  未知

恐惧

听着 Still/Hillsong

无意中，

落泪了