this is me ♔
29/7
Monday, July 29, 2013 | 7/29/2013 08:11:00 AM | 0 comments
8.22am:
I shall be that bit happy that at least
Being sick at home is better than being sick in school
Long day ahead 
Press onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

/
Remember what you say okay 
Tell me whatever you want to cos
The wall's too high for me to climb over and find out myself whatever's inside that you want me to know
/


5.57pm:









/

10.59pm
Today has been a productive day and I recovered emotionally by a lot throughout the day  
And I just pray not to end up throwing up like no one's business back in school/esp not during papers
Other than that i really don't care right now I will even Live with the amount of unexpellable phlegm stuck in my bronchioles
And I will care after blocks.
But now I'm getting angst again
Over the small small things
And I'm dreading to go back to school cos there's really nothing to look forward to except
Competition
Being judged
Facing results under my table And being judged
Thinking differently from the world
Being judged
Competition
Competition
Hearing from others who are so much better about how lousy they are then feeling worse than shit
Competition
Oops wait
No one's even competing with me cos I'm too lousy it's just me trying to fit into the Perfect World

I'm praying that God will slowly help me learn to tune out the world and everyone else and not focus on anything or anyone else but my own road
Or I would really go crazy soon listening to the whole world talk about perfection- perfect bodies perfect legs perfect thighs perfect faces perfect heights perfect weights perfect grades perfect teachers perfect couples perfect friends perfect everything 

And all of mine just look too sorry and imperfect beside theirs and the feeling sucks so much
Then that feeling is dulled by another intensified feeling screaming at me for feeling such wrong feelings
Sigh
I will face tomorrow
I will
With God. 
Oh God
Help me get through tomorrow 
I need all the strength I can possibly get
T^T



Shall treasure the times more
While I prepare myself for a possibly impending
Goodbye 


I wanna fly away 
Fly beyond caring whether anyone would notice or care if I had flown away
/

11.42pm:
Dear God,
Help me learn to care for others more
And not be so self-absorbed in myself 




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29/7
Monday, July 29, 2013 | 7/29/2013 08:11:00 AM | 0 comments
8.22am:
I shall be that bit happy that at least
Being sick at home is better than being sick in school
Long day ahead 
Press onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

/
Remember what you say okay 
Tell me whatever you want to cos
The wall's too high for me to climb over and find out myself whatever's inside that you want me to know
/


5.57pm:









/

10.59pm
Today has been a productive day and I recovered emotionally by a lot throughout the day  
And I just pray not to end up throwing up like no one's business back in school/esp not during papers
Other than that i really don't care right now I will even Live with the amount of unexpellable phlegm stuck in my bronchioles
And I will care after blocks.
But now I'm getting angst again
Over the small small things
And I'm dreading to go back to school cos there's really nothing to look forward to except
Competition
Being judged
Facing results under my table And being judged
Thinking differently from the world
Being judged
Competition
Competition
Hearing from others who are so much better about how lousy they are then feeling worse than shit
Competition
Oops wait
No one's even competing with me cos I'm too lousy it's just me trying to fit into the Perfect World

I'm praying that God will slowly help me learn to tune out the world and everyone else and not focus on anything or anyone else but my own road
Or I would really go crazy soon listening to the whole world talk about perfection- perfect bodies perfect legs perfect thighs perfect faces perfect heights perfect weights perfect grades perfect teachers perfect couples perfect friends perfect everything 

And all of mine just look too sorry and imperfect beside theirs and the feeling sucks so much
Then that feeling is dulled by another intensified feeling screaming at me for feeling such wrong feelings
Sigh
I will face tomorrow
I will
With God. 
Oh God
Help me get through tomorrow 
I need all the strength I can possibly get
T^T



Shall treasure the times more
While I prepare myself for a possibly impending
Goodbye 


I wanna fly away 
Fly beyond caring whether anyone would notice or care if I had flown away
/

11.42pm:
Dear God,
Help me learn to care for others more
And not be so self-absorbed in myself 




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