Honestly, school feels weird knowing your best friend isn't in school

Or the monitor you love to bully

I miss        especially

But I must concentrate on studying

After bt2 then can playyyyy

7.21pm:

There has been too much negativity in me today 

So much that even others can tell 

I need to control and stop this

/

Suddenly so sick and tired of listening to anything

Listening to the outside world's and  society's thoughts

So much that I wanna shut it up and turn the volume right down

Listening to my own internal voices

Which I know are so so different and weird compared to everyone else 

And those internal conflicts

And doubts about ships

I feel like telling everything to shut up but no

They won't

I'm angry with many things that have happened in the past few days

Maybe people to some extent 

Not the petty kind of angry

I feel lousy and bad 

Charged with a kind of negative energy 

I need someone to talk to

Someone who won't be too busy to listen

Someone who wont start to judge

God

But at the same time

I don't feel like letting anyone near

Not even Him

Sigh

/

I've been doing history and UK reflections which were on task and bio I wanted to read 2 chapters but only managed to read 1. Have to do math pp tnite and mom can't help me cos ben's havin exams tmr and she's gonna be out still tnite. Then there's LA webquest.

I feel like that pace of revision and amount of revision/work done should be  enough for one day 

But lookin at the chem and bio quiz results I feel like I have such a long way more to go

The results were so disappointing because I put in so much effort and I knew the answers but science and "answering a perfect answer" got to me again, before I knew it I'm failing again cos I give such imperfect answers. Maybe I shouldn't have any right to make any noise because I'm just stupid

Sigh

At least the past 2 math quizzes have been 10/10 but clearly I need to be more all-rounded 

Everyone's leaving

Or temporarily not here

My sister is suddenly leaving for uni

I suddenly realised she's going for uni

And she's moving away to the hostel tmr

And I've never slept with her or ever been close to her since like 5 or i cant rmb when

But I think I'm really gonna miss her

/

God

11.37pm:

(Content deleted)

Honestly, school feels weird knowing your best friend isn't in school

Or the monitor you love to bully

I miss        especially

But I must concentrate on studying

After bt2 then can playyyyy

7.21pm:

There has been too much negativity in me today 

So much that even others can tell 

I need to control and stop this

/

Suddenly so sick and tired of listening to anything

Listening to the outside world's and  society's thoughts

So much that I wanna shut it up and turn the volume right down

Listening to my own internal voices

Which I know are so so different and weird compared to everyone else 

And those internal conflicts

And doubts about ships

I feel like telling everything to shut up but no

They won't

I'm angry with many things that have happened in the past few days

Maybe people to some extent 

Not the petty kind of angry

I feel lousy and bad 

Charged with a kind of negative energy 

I need someone to talk to

Someone who won't be too busy to listen

Someone who wont start to judge

God

But at the same time

I don't feel like letting anyone near

Not even Him

Sigh

/

I've been doing history and UK reflections which were on task and bio I wanted to read 2 chapters but only managed to read 1. Have to do math pp tnite and mom can't help me cos ben's havin exams tmr and she's gonna be out still tnite. Then there's LA webquest.

I feel like that pace of revision and amount of revision/work done should be  enough for one day 

But lookin at the chem and bio quiz results I feel like I have such a long way more to go

The results were so disappointing because I put in so much effort and I knew the answers but science and "answering a perfect answer" got to me again, before I knew it I'm failing again cos I give such imperfect answers. Maybe I shouldn't have any right to make any noise because I'm just stupid

Sigh

At least the past 2 math quizzes have been 10/10 but clearly I need to be more all-rounded 

Everyone's leaving

Or temporarily not here

My sister is suddenly leaving for uni

I suddenly realised she's going for uni

And she's moving away to the hostel tmr

And I've never slept with her or ever been close to her since like 5 or i cant rmb when

But I think I'm really gonna miss her

/

God

11.37pm:

(Content deleted)