Jetlag
Friday, June 21, 2013 | 6/21/2013 02:34:00 AM | 0 comments
Fell asleep at 10+ cos the cramps were really badThought I could adjust and get used to our timing again as quickly
Guess who's up and unable to fall asleep again!
/
Someone mentioned during debrief:
In Singapore, it feels like everything old isn't good
All the old buildings are torn down and rebuilt to be new
Only the new are good
In UK, they not only keep the old buildings, they treasure them and protect them
It takes extra care
It's the same with ships.
The people are countries
And the buildings, ships.
Sometimes
I prefer old buildings.
Even if they're so old they rot
I'd wanna protect them though they are
So fragile
/
The best friend has gone on a disappearing act
Meeting yj tomorrow to do ih essay
If not I'd prolly never get it done
Everyone's starting to push
I'm starting to wonder
How much harder I have to push myself, with everyone else pushing themselves Hard already, to just hit their average.
I don't even know if my original goal is still possible because I suck at calculating
And I suck at putting down my pride to ask someone for help cos I know where everyone else is at and I know that everyone would be so shocked and it just sucks
So the only way to pace myself can't be by my now-seeming unrealistic goal anymore but by pacing myself with others, which I actually really hate and think is completely wrong
Nvm
Prolly not a good time to wonder about that now
With raging hormones I might just drown in my own flood tonight
Things to clear by this week-
1. GCP Reflections
2. SSS completion of content/presentation for meeting next mon
3. IH essay
4. History sbq paper
5. Chinese PP
6. LA X3 tasks
7. Revision- follow plan + catching up
This is bad but im actually secretly wishing that the haze would make the school halt foa rehearsals next week.
It's 9am-5pm for 3 days and this amount of time required for Technical Runs alone can be better used on a million other things
One week+ more
To recover, revise, catch up w everyone, fulfill responsibilities
9 more days, to according to plan, somehow psycho myself to stop having exam jitters before and during exams
9 days left, to somehow enjoy myself while rushing everything I possibly can rush through
9 days more to meet just 1 more person I really want to meet.
The day of arrival marked the 40th day to blocks.
The countdown starts.
39.
I just wanna go back to sleep
Being awake feels too lousy
How should I sleep
Slap myself until I do?
Cry myself until I do?
Should I just get up to do work instead?
But there's no will.
I need a will. A very very very strong one.
Only with a will, then a way can be found.
I know that.
But why is it that even finding a will
That will
Feels so far away and hard
Paralyzed:
to bring to a condition of helpless stoppage, inactivity, or inability to act.
1. It's an inability to act, not an inability to feel
2. You feel
3. You're not actually helpless
4. Are you?
