Wanted to reopen this place today
The post's ready/drafted
Removed the more private posts and content
But the mood's not right hahaha
I'm not ready to take off this mask
Or maybe it's because I'm about to take off this mask this I finally feel like exploding.


Feel like screaming and crying
Feel like grabbing someone who cares and just have one person to myself for a short while to hug, someone who would return the hug, let me rest on his shoulder for as long as I want, never let go.
Feel like going to hide in a cupboard
Feel like escaping reality, really escaping- not having to think about/face emotions, ships or results
Feel like ignoring everything normal and being me
Feel like being weak and being the actual coward I am inside


I'm not someone who gives up easily;
I'm gonna regret not mugging tonight,
I'm gonna regret when I don't get a1 for the 4 quizzes + soc sem this week
But right now I'm so highly unmotivated to kick start, to persevere, to hang on

It's like im hanging on the edge of a cliff, my fingers are tired, weak and sliding off, and I have no more strength nor will to hold on.
Its like there's no one on top of the cliff who's gonna pull me up, no one at all, although it seems like everyone else is there, on solid ground, stable and unfearful
And it feels like the only way to feel God is here is to drop all the way down to the bottom,
To feel that He is there to catch me.
Idk
I really dk
I want an escape
I want to hide in a cupboard forever
And ever
And ever
If only that could work.

God, please grant me strength and perseverance, and push me to work hard, to continue and push myself, because if I don't, I won't make it. I can't do this without you. I have little faith, but i pray that you would have grace on and help me, because I believe. Please show me that you won't give up on me, cos at times like this when I'm unsure of everything esp myself, I feel unsure if others would leave me anytime when my flaws and scars are too horrible ; I feel unsure if i can do anything right. Please don't leave me, please i pray. Amen.







































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MiL EniledA.
an average 14-year old;
Wishes come true on 30 Jan;
Taonannite 2006-2009, BiCEPer 2007-2009, NYgirl 2010-2011;
adeline30197@hotmail.com.

Wants.
God. True Friends. Family. Love. Care. Health. Happiness. Simplicity. Peace. Everything to be okay.

Her Thoughts | Her Words | Friends | Friends | Friends

Wanted to reopen this place today
The post's ready/drafted
Removed the more private posts and content
But the mood's not right hahaha
I'm not ready to take off this mask
Or maybe it's because I'm about to take off this mask this I finally feel like exploding.


Feel like screaming and crying
Feel like grabbing someone who cares and just have one person to myself for a short while to hug, someone who would return the hug, let me rest on his shoulder for as long as I want, never let go.
Feel like going to hide in a cupboard
Feel like escaping reality, really escaping- not having to think about/face emotions, ships or results
Feel like ignoring everything normal and being me
Feel like being weak and being the actual coward I am inside


I'm not someone who gives up easily;
I'm gonna regret not mugging tonight,
I'm gonna regret when I don't get a1 for the 4 quizzes + soc sem this week
But right now I'm so highly unmotivated to kick start, to persevere, to hang on

It's like im hanging on the edge of a cliff, my fingers are tired, weak and sliding off, and I have no more strength nor will to hold on.
Its like there's no one on top of the cliff who's gonna pull me up, no one at all, although it seems like everyone else is there, on solid ground, stable and unfearful
And it feels like the only way to feel God is here is to drop all the way down to the bottom,
To feel that He is there to catch me.
Idk
I really dk
I want an escape
I want to hide in a cupboard forever
And ever
And ever
If only that could work.

God, please grant me strength and perseverance, and push me to work hard, to continue and push myself, because if I don't, I won't make it. I can't do this without you. I have little faith, but i pray that you would have grace on and help me, because I believe. Please show me that you won't give up on me, cos at times like this when I'm unsure of everything esp myself, I feel unsure if others would leave me anytime when my flaws and scars are too horrible ; I feel unsure if i can do anything right. Please don't leave me, please i pray. Amen.







































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