27/4 (edited)
Saturday, April 27, 2013 | 4/27/2013 07:15:00 AM | 0 comments
Fell asleep at 10 last night and I don't wana get up now.I'd love to scold myself like all the crazy people do for sleeping 8 hours close to 9.
But I'm not Crazy
I'm nowhere near prepared for math nor history and math is one that you'd Die for if you don't have enough practice
So I guess I should start w math now
Idw to get out of bed
I wanna whine and scream and throw a tantrum cos idw to get up
But there's no use
I need to hold myself together
I really need to
God, please hold me together
At least till 29th
And hold me tightly together after that
Because I'm afraid id be in pieces after the results come back to kill me
p.s. welcome 6th, to imperfection.
Sometimes I wish I could grow up in somewhere with less fortunate places
Like china where you know that right outside the city, people are starving and dying
So that I would see for myself how much I need to appreciate this kind of luxurious life I have here and treasure my resources and Fight Harder to remain in this place/want to climb up
(Even though in Singapore, after the past 4 years of everything, my family's lifestyle is no longer "luxurious", to say)
Because after table tennis ytd, I got scolded for being too uncompetitive and easily satisfied
But sometimes I really wish I didn't live here
Because I can't stand all the extravagance we have here
It eats me up
But I know without it, I wouldn't be able to survive too
Because I've been too spoilt a child.
Still, I'm trying.
I've been trying to give up one cup of Oreo/chocolate drink per day
Just so I can give the amount to the guitar player/tissue Aunty in the underground pass I walk by everyday
And on days i tell myself "even if I buy the drink I still can afford to give 5X this amount/maybe they won't appear today"
I tell myself that I can keep my health a lil more in shape, although I know it doesn't matter cos 50% of us still get complications from our condition eventually and eventually die. Die uglily.
Yesterday while washing the tubas cos we need to disinfect band after e 3 cases of hfmd in band, I found myself cringing while looking at the amount of water wasted when tr hose was left on while we were soaping and stuff but it was too inconvenient to keep turning the hose on and off
I told the juniors to pour e water from rinsing the instrus into plants
Cos although I hate plants
At least the water that could feed/save hundreds (I honestly think so) isnt so wasted.
(And then again, I really hope the plants Die from hfmd if the water didnt manage to kill the virus)
Sometimes I wonder why I have the right to live this way
When others can't
That's why in history, when ms Chua was asking after the movie that if we were foreigners in nanjing during the massacre, whether we would escape, I told my group id not because i don't think we should have e right to fleet like that while the Chinese civilians die like that.
Although most of em said they'll go back cos their parents and family would be worried
Maybe I am just this wilful, sometimes I don't care whether people care hahaha (then other times i care so much i feel like dying) (idk.)
Sigh shan't think about this anymore
Can't change my circumstances
So I'd just have to accept it
(Content deleted)
Wow I would be in bliss cos I'd either have one more day to mug
Or say goodbye to blocks le
Happy Dreaming Yay! /pops champagne/
/or maybe the piercing-harsh reality popped my bubble/
