Sometimes.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013 | 3/27/2013 03:42:00 PM | 0 comments
Sometimes- Britney Spears Sometimes I run (sometimes)
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
All I need is time
Just hang around and you'll see
There's nowhere I'd rather be
If you love me, trust in me
The way that I trust in you
Suddenly dreamt of drb ytd.
Woke up today wondering if what happened was real.
A dream. Lol!
Sometimes I feel like there are so many emotions in me running at the same time that idk how to express them
Sometimes things that I wanna say are so hard to come out of the mouth
Sometimes or many a times I don't act the way I feel like when I look angry I'm not (but sometimes I am angry) (and sometimes I am angry for a while then I'm not angry anymore)
Sometimes I want to stay angry with some people like 5eva but I end up forgiving them without myself realising it, even before I stop seeing the person/even before too long has passed
I.e. I realised I wasn't angry w a certain lim anymore ytd even before the activity was over. But the sight of the person still just irks me So Easily idek what to do.
Sometimes I'm just so so so self-contradictory I think I'm unfit to have a brain.
Sometimes I think that I am one of the hardest people to be near to hahahahaha cos I'm always too lousy and not good enough and I'm just bad in everything like that.
Sometimes I think of all the ships that've sunk in recent years and I look at the current ships and how some of em are really on the verge of just catching fire and Poof!-ing into ashes, not even slowly sinking. i want to save em so badly, I'm trying so hard to, but I'm just so bad at this. And I honestly seriously frankly really don't Know what I'm doinggggg.
I need some instruction manual on how to save shipsssssss!
P.r.o.n. prontoooooo!!!
And I also need an instruction manual on how to be more brave and less self contradictory. I think I'm self contradictory cos im quite unsure of...me and things? Lol idk. and also cos there are so many different situations in this world that I have so many different responses to cos I just can't generalise every situation and that makes me hve contradicting views?
Sometimes I wonder what everyone wants from meeeeeeeeeeee what what whatttt!!
Sometimes I wonder what I want from me!
/sings/ "Just don't give up
I'm working it out
Please don't give in
I won't let you down
It messed me up
Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around, yeah
What dya wantttt from meeeee
What dya want from meeeeee~"
-Adam Lambert, What Dya Want From me
Okay back to seriousness,
I think for me,
If you are willing to trust in me, I will prove to you that I am trustworthy.
But if you keep doubting me,
I usually end up believing in your doubts...lol.
Then on the other hand,
I'm quite a doubtful person cos I'm unsecured? So I need a lot of help from others to help me trust them, but at the end when I do I really do.
Sometimes I just feel like "your life is filled with everyone else so you don't even need me to be a nuisance to you" and I feel like just walking away/out of that over-filled life (glamly with swag) and stop trying to cramp so hard into the life to just get some Place in it and try so hard it's suffocating (restate: for a few ppl onlyyyyy). Like if that person's life/heart was a house, id feel like i have to try so hard to just be in the toilet (bowl) of it. I'd want to feel like, if I really matter enough then the person would make a space for me w/o me having to try so hard, right?
Yet I just can't bring myself to simply walk out and away, cos I know that im not good/important enough to expect these kind of things and the most likely scenario that'd happen if I walked away would be that the person wouldn't even have realised I'm gone much less stop me hahahahhaah
This is so hilarious and nonsensical and dumb and overserious and unreadable hahahhaha I think everything is just hilarious to me these few days like I can't stop laughing at things oh gosh /that laughing with tears emoji/
Sometimes I wish I'm the kind of person that isn't so filled with emotions and maybe specifically, so much care. I wish I could just be cold and unfeeling and uncaring in nature haha. I guess that would help w my self-contradictory issues tooooooooooooooo.
Why must I careeeeeeeeeee why does anyone have toooo/why do some people have to and some people don't?
If only I could just not care about anything in this worlddddddddddd!!!
Idw to care!! I want to be some bad person!!! /whips out a fruit knife/
Sigh!
Off to mug bio and im2--must care. T^T /whips fruit knife back in/
imyyyyyyyyyyyy m.m.
