Blah wanna make up for my lost-in-black hole post the last time where I typed a short post while half asleep and it disappeared somewhere lol and I'm trying to wake myself up now by blogging too.

From china and msia trip there are manymany things to talk about but I don't have the time or energy to type out here haha. Maybe if you're like really free someday you can ask me to tell you! I can go on and on and on like a recording haha.
But things are back to reality now. So.

Have been going for cca for the past 2 days since I came back from mission trip. After cca ytd was kk appt which I forgot to take mc for which I think I'll have to end up photocopying my appt card instead.
And just from these 2 things cca and hosp review, there are things that I have to focus on right now alr, like bassoon exam, syf, junior's assessments, and band camp. (I'm pretty excited for band camp esp meeting someone secretly although actually abit mix-feelings-ish idk why. except I'll be leaving my mom alone at home since 3 of my fam members will be going for mission trip @ *Thailand!)

And in terms of health, well i guess a period of time overseas has brought my hba1c back up above the 9 line which isn't good and though dr yap has been really nice and patient w me these few visits saying I've matured and know my own condition well now, I still felt bad cus like its still counted as my health wasnt really controlled. Anw insulin dosages were increased to bring sugars down. But idk if anyone knows that more insulin = more weight.

There everyone goes about how they are so fat when they're probably underweight, here I am being unable to control anything even when I try to exercise and all that. In hospital nurses and doctors say its okay for me to be abit overweight and all that cus it's really just by 1-2 bmi but look at reality and see which stranger or which person might stop to think that "oh, she's fat cus she has a condition and blablabla." and judge how fat you are by bmi when even idk a friend might not stop to think so. (have I mentioned that my closer friends are still "friends" only) Fat means fat alr what right hahahaha. Need to face it myself, then I can accept it when people around me start whining about being fat when really la seriously some people are sticks. (there's an eg fr my gcp)

So besides my health and cca to manage, I have to focus on my studies now cus prep tests are when school reopens and I haven't started on hw even less on revisions.

Excluding piano and theory and exercising. And thinking about all the complexities in life and being affected by them like why some people are just so liked by everyone and why they can just keep twirling people round and round their fingers when their personalities inside are so....... In conclusion I really don't understand how some people act so damn well man. So well that maybe all guys fall in front of their feet, or idk. Hahaha. Maybe those kind of people are just really so attractive, and all I can do is sigh cus there's nothing about me that's attractive inside out, and I have zero ability to act at all, even for skit or anyth, don't talk about in real life, that really requires techniques imo. Looking at myself, idk how w my getting more and more 孤僻 personality and alr horrible character and bad looks that anyone would ever like me next time hahaha but id leave that for 10 years down the road when fat ugly mean me starts to get left on the shelf.
Now I can't spare anymore energy and time to go and think about all the complications of humans alr. You want to be my friend then just be my friend, if you don't want then just dont come near me at all cus I can't afford to be affected by anymore ships this month or this year. If you accept me then accept me, if not then just roll off. And if you're wondering how to make me happy, just don't tell me you're fat, then you'll make me happy enough as a friend.

My hectic life has been running for 54 days, + 4, + 2. (meaning other than enough/not enough sleep every night, I have practically 0% rest time) I took a 2hr+ nap ytd which my mom said she tried to wake me 4 times but I couldn't get up haha. that was counted as rest ba. Today also rest (this hour while I shower and blog), after must prac piano, prac bassoon, study/revise. Then 3 more days of band camp. After that, I really have so little time left for anything other than health(exercise), studies and music anymore. This is really my shortest and shittest holidays since primary school (minus china trip) cus I don't get to bake, no more movies, and I don't think I can meet everyone I want to meet badly to pass gifts and catch up. And I really wanna whine now. (hahaha no although I am alr.) i really wanna watch movies when life gets so boooo.

Although to say that I am a movie fan might not be right since I'm not the kind that must watch all those Oscar winning or award winning movies/actors, but any movie, any kind will make me happy. Cus like I shared during comm auditions, happy endings in movies, or all the non-realistic details, give me hope in life and make me optimistic again.
Sadly movies would prolly be a no-no this hols, unless people would bring me out to watch haha but I don't think anyone would either hm.
So this month would really be quite a horrible month and fr Christmas I don't intend to go back to Bethel so prolly no celebs, no gifts, nth. But Jesus will be in my heart and I will celebrate His birth, even if i end up alone.

Hoping for this to be my last last post this month so bear with the longgggggness! Maybe I should try just like one post/month! Actually I should just delete this blog lol
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

P.S. All indiv pics are w my group's kids during mission trip; the one other group photo w all e kids was me and Rachael's kindergarten class at 希望工程. Pics w friends include those w emily chen and my new friends Cherianne and Stacey and also my fave candy bought from china and the shed we painted for cip which I painted the sun






































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MiL EniledA.
an average 14-year old;
Wishes come true on 30 Jan;
Taonannite 2006-2009, BiCEPer 2007-2009, NYgirl 2010-2011;
adeline30197@hotmail.com.

Wants.
God. True Friends. Family. Love. Care. Health. Happiness. Simplicity. Peace. Everything to be okay.

Her Thoughts | Her Words | Friends | Friends | Friends

Blah wanna make up for my lost-in-black hole post the last time where I typed a short post while half asleep and it disappeared somewhere lol and I'm trying to wake myself up now by blogging too.

From china and msia trip there are manymany things to talk about but I don't have the time or energy to type out here haha. Maybe if you're like really free someday you can ask me to tell you! I can go on and on and on like a recording haha.
But things are back to reality now. So.

Have been going for cca for the past 2 days since I came back from mission trip. After cca ytd was kk appt which I forgot to take mc for which I think I'll have to end up photocopying my appt card instead.
And just from these 2 things cca and hosp review, there are things that I have to focus on right now alr, like bassoon exam, syf, junior's assessments, and band camp. (I'm pretty excited for band camp esp meeting someone secretly although actually abit mix-feelings-ish idk why. except I'll be leaving my mom alone at home since 3 of my fam members will be going for mission trip @ *Thailand!)

And in terms of health, well i guess a period of time overseas has brought my hba1c back up above the 9 line which isn't good and though dr yap has been really nice and patient w me these few visits saying I've matured and know my own condition well now, I still felt bad cus like its still counted as my health wasnt really controlled. Anw insulin dosages were increased to bring sugars down. But idk if anyone knows that more insulin = more weight.

There everyone goes about how they are so fat when they're probably underweight, here I am being unable to control anything even when I try to exercise and all that. In hospital nurses and doctors say its okay for me to be abit overweight and all that cus it's really just by 1-2 bmi but look at reality and see which stranger or which person might stop to think that "oh, she's fat cus she has a condition and blablabla." and judge how fat you are by bmi when even idk a friend might not stop to think so. (have I mentioned that my closer friends are still "friends" only) Fat means fat alr what right hahahaha. Need to face it myself, then I can accept it when people around me start whining about being fat when really la seriously some people are sticks. (there's an eg fr my gcp)

So besides my health and cca to manage, I have to focus on my studies now cus prep tests are when school reopens and I haven't started on hw even less on revisions.

Excluding piano and theory and exercising. And thinking about all the complexities in life and being affected by them like why some people are just so liked by everyone and why they can just keep twirling people round and round their fingers when their personalities inside are so....... In conclusion I really don't understand how some people act so damn well man. So well that maybe all guys fall in front of their feet, or idk. Hahaha. Maybe those kind of people are just really so attractive, and all I can do is sigh cus there's nothing about me that's attractive inside out, and I have zero ability to act at all, even for skit or anyth, don't talk about in real life, that really requires techniques imo. Looking at myself, idk how w my getting more and more 孤僻 personality and alr horrible character and bad looks that anyone would ever like me next time hahaha but id leave that for 10 years down the road when fat ugly mean me starts to get left on the shelf.
Now I can't spare anymore energy and time to go and think about all the complications of humans alr. You want to be my friend then just be my friend, if you don't want then just dont come near me at all cus I can't afford to be affected by anymore ships this month or this year. If you accept me then accept me, if not then just roll off. And if you're wondering how to make me happy, just don't tell me you're fat, then you'll make me happy enough as a friend.

My hectic life has been running for 54 days, + 4, + 2. (meaning other than enough/not enough sleep every night, I have practically 0% rest time) I took a 2hr+ nap ytd which my mom said she tried to wake me 4 times but I couldn't get up haha. that was counted as rest ba. Today also rest (this hour while I shower and blog), after must prac piano, prac bassoon, study/revise. Then 3 more days of band camp. After that, I really have so little time left for anything other than health(exercise), studies and music anymore. This is really my shortest and shittest holidays since primary school (minus china trip) cus I don't get to bake, no more movies, and I don't think I can meet everyone I want to meet badly to pass gifts and catch up. And I really wanna whine now. (hahaha no although I am alr.) i really wanna watch movies when life gets so boooo.

Although to say that I am a movie fan might not be right since I'm not the kind that must watch all those Oscar winning or award winning movies/actors, but any movie, any kind will make me happy. Cus like I shared during comm auditions, happy endings in movies, or all the non-realistic details, give me hope in life and make me optimistic again.
Sadly movies would prolly be a no-no this hols, unless people would bring me out to watch haha but I don't think anyone would either hm.
So this month would really be quite a horrible month and fr Christmas I don't intend to go back to Bethel so prolly no celebs, no gifts, nth. But Jesus will be in my heart and I will celebrate His birth, even if i end up alone.

Hoping for this to be my last last post this month so bear with the longgggggness! Maybe I should try just like one post/month! Actually I should just delete this blog lol
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

P.S. All indiv pics are w my group's kids during mission trip; the one other group photo w all e kids was me and Rachael's kindergarten class at 希望工程. Pics w friends include those w emily chen and my new friends Cherianne and Stacey and also my fave candy bought from china and the shed we painted for cip which I painted the sun






































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