Sunday, March 4, 2012 | 3/04/2012 04:08:00 PM | 0 comments
Just finished packing! (Or my dad just finished helping me pack)Ytd night and today up till now has been super mood spoiling thanks to my mom I seriously can't stand her sometimes.
Anw.
Today is e last day of civilization for me ><
Gotta report to sch at 7am tmr T.T
And.......
Oh I have a huge backpack and an even huger handcarry bag I think I look like a freak but for me I really have to bring a lot of things to camping always CUS I am a clean freak at least in terms of clothing and cleaning and I have alot of medication to bring and a lot of sweets to bring.
Which brings me to the sweets.
Someone say I very picky about sweets.
Yeah. Idk why. All along I only eat the sweets I ownself buy that I like or ppl who I like give me then I will keep very very long but eat them in the end.
Sometimes my parents buy candies that i dun like. Sometimes random ppl give me sweets that I dun like, then I rather be hypo than eat them. Depends. Why did i talk about this.. Idk.
Feel really xian and urghish rn. Today is not a good day.
Suddenly, that great motivation to go for Obs is kinda lost. Not totally though, the determination to go is still there. But like seniors and friends fr other schs who went alr told me stuff then make me quite scared.. And dreadish..?
I hate backpacking. I'm totally dreading the weight of the bag on me. I'm someone who really hates feeling burdens and just the thought of really this huge burdenish bag on me as I hike ~7hrs is torturous enough. I can't imagine the actual thing.
I can't imagine not being able to shower for 1/2 days cus I've never slept without showering that day in my life.
I can't imagine having to overcome height obstacles )))))):
sigh. Okay I need to think positive! Honestly speaking, Im really scared. But I can't tell anyone this cus last time when they tell me dun go it's me myself who's bent on going..and there are some who are already worried and I can't tell them cus it'd make them feel worse. Sigh. So. Nvm. I shall learn to face this alone.
Miss the feeling of having a best friend.
My three 'best friends' are long....gone.
Rmb how lucky and fortunate i felt in sec1 to be able to have 3 bfs when others might only have one. But technically I have no best friend now.
There are really big differences between close/good friends and best friends.
Best friends are ppl who know you better than you know yourself and are there for you even without you having to say anything.
And girl best friends are really different from guy best friends. Dun say best friends, even for normal friends, they are different.. And even if I have a close guy friend that I tell many things to.. It's just not possible to say some things that can only be told to a real girl best friend.
That was what I felt ytd night while thinking about some things.
Sigh. I know I should be grateful that I have although not many but at least a few close friends... But still, I can't help wishing that I never drifted away fr any of my 3 bfs or, that I have a real bf that I can call my bf and feel good about cus that person really is my bf and understands me as I am rn not from like..3 yrs ago.
Anyhow, anyone who reads this.. Treasure yr bf!!(:
You never know when y'all will drift apart, and when one day you look back and realize you have really drifted apart, it's too late.
Feeling heavy... And I can't exactly say why here anymore cus... Nvm.
Maybe at Obs, the weight of the bag and exhaustion will make me not think about the heaviness on my mind.
Sigh idk.
Anw today is yunman's bday, wished her happy bday on twitter. (:
Yeah.
Beginning to feel tired.. But it's technically one week away from hols. Or it's alr e hols. So yeah hope to recover and reenergize this march hols. But Monday and tues have to go back to sch >< still, I'll try to finish everything ASAP. (Which is quite impossible cus I have like seriously one whole page worth of hw tasks and block tests to study for) And hopefully I have ppl to ask me out? >< if not I'll just stay home and rot..which I won't mind cus I guess I'll need the rest.
After e march hols:
•BT1 from week 2-6
•Easter Day Musical Rally 2012
•HCSE Concert 2012
•NYCB Family Concert 2012
And during the June hols I doubt we'll be goin to Hainan anymore cus gramps' health nt good?
Anyway June first and second week we'll have cca and third/fourth week is intensive training (up to 4days/week) for 95th musical =.= worse still, church camp is like third week sat-Monday. Which means I'll go back to dying at pracs immediately after I return.
This is so far away still and I'm alr dreading it but I shall take One Step At A Time for now.
In conclusion, no matter what, this march hols Have to be restful for me. No more breaks after this.
But With all the studying and hw to be done, and all the desires to go out to play..... I think the rest part can be forgotten.
Anyway For now, my biggest hurdle is still Obs. Wait till I survive it and come back, then we'll move step by step, one day at a time.
This post has been rather rubbishy cus I'm seriously blabbering my thoughts to empty some stuff but you and I can tell it makes no sense. So sorry if you wasted time reading this. At least, i feel a bit better. I guess it's good in a way. Shall go sleep and store some rest first before next five days I run out!
Cross fingers i will come back in one piece after 5 days and This won't be the last post of mine ><
Bbear..................imy. When I used to tell you that, I always wanted to ask you one qtn... But I never did. And now... I guess your answer's obvious alr.. Bear.. at least.. please try dun forget me... cus irmysm. |':
