Saturday, February 18, 2012 | 2/18/2012 12:39:00 AM | 0 comments
you. telling you here cus idk how to tell you in......face? not in face. in screen.idw our friendship to get strained any further... i never ever thought of anything more and always treated you as a brotherly figure all along.. although i am always touched by your actions and words and we are rather close, but i only treat you as a brother and nothing more, idk how many times i have to clarify this... really hope you can stop bringing up such topics next time, its quite sensitive and irdk how to face you properly anymore.. there's enough things on my plate rn, and i have no intention to let anyone become a close part of my life for now, you're already right at that limit of being too close...ive lost too many people, too many friends. idw to lose another friend, and even more not a close friend and family. sorry. if you come any closer, idk what will happen to me and what i will do, so stop pushing me kkay...please? thanks. and sorry. really sorry. hope our friendship will stay strong. love you, bro.
bbear.
bbear i miss you smuchhhh, what should i do, everytime i miss you? in 995, jiajian and the youli guy or sth, look at the sky and think of meiqing. but you're not in the sky, you're in south africa, how do i think of you then..? if i tell you in my heart i miss you, will you receive it in yours? will you miss me back? probably not, you're always so busy bear right...? nevermind, i will tell piglets. these few days i hug them alot cus i am quite sad.. but i know you want me to be happy, so i will try to be happy so piglets wun always have to be sad with me. and i am taking care of piglets very well dun worry! byebye bbear, imy.
was wondering if i should blog and decided to come here and just type sth lol.
today was quite nice (: spent first half of recess eating w bernice kohewe rachael kwanyee kaiting
and second half of recess w jiahui sherry and limyijie.
then during IH huixin was really bored so she started to like lift her chair and bang down.
and after a while the entire class turned around to look at her.
then at first royanne lesley and me just laughlaughlaugh only,
afterwards our whole row did together according to huixin's conducting hahahaha then when she fast we fast when she slow we slow.
i think mrs here noticed but she never say anyth x)
then during chem we all drank water together like our whole row,
we waited for ms chen to turn around and face the class, then all 4 of us drank water.
then she stared at us for a while HAHAHAHAHAHA.
i love ms chen she really shooooooooooo pretty and kind and nice! (:
she reminds me of someone! idk if i ever mentioned before x)
that someone is also very kind and nice and pretty (: i think their face look alike also, in terms of hairstyle and face shape.
the features are a bit different, but the hairstyle and face shape and the inside is all like the same.
everytime i see ms chen i start to miss that someone. heh.
anywayssssss.
even though today was a really nice day, my mood wasnt really there ba.
like couldnt really laugh a real laugh?
maybe cus sick, and tired.
which is why i am going to sleep soon.
spent time w evelyn before band :D love talking to her she's like my wish come true, a section batchmate. (:
and also my classmate ((:
spent first half of band alone, then ashley came,
didnt talk to her at all today.
cus......................................................nvm luh forget it shant say.
mr lim wanted to see us after band and i thought what,
turned out that he just wanted to tell us, our sec1 junior called him today to ask to change instrument.
after 1 day.
cant help but sigh,
shall leave the rest of the planning to mr lim.
with and without her has its own pros and cons.
with her, i have a junior= sectionmate and syf next year for me is saved.
but with no musical background at all, she doesnt even konw what the 5 lines are, much less the existence of a Bass clef.
if i had to teach her, i might either burst a blood vessel or shoot into fireworks.
cus firstly i have no patience, secondly her musical knowledge is way too limited and below my standards and expections for juniors.
therefore, itd be better for her and me if she left.
and i wasnt really prepared for a junior ytd, which was why i felt so overwhelmed suddenly.
and the pros side, mr lim is likely gonna swap for another junior so it doesnt really matter whether its like Her or not.
he says a trombone person put bassoon as her 3rd choice and he would have to ask her if she wanted to change instru.
ashley told him that feng jiayi (the junior. yes. the 5/6th one in nycb 2012) felt bassoon was too heavy.
mr lim said then the trombone wont make any diff cus its heavy too. but he'd make e arrangements.
afterwards i was thinking, trombone is also in bass clef, so changing her is redundant. she should just be sent off to st johns. but no band needs her =.= okay nvm im digressing.
that was my day.
have been xianing through this week- as everyone can read, my current life SUX.
i am like a no-lifer, rotting away in school.
except when i get to go mad with my friends. which is quite often. but lessons are just BLEPH.
and im failing almost every subject. including chinese.
gratzzzzzz.
aish very tired dw to think much. just glad the week's over.
next week's gonna be very busy:
-ih assignment due
-math quiz
-LA this i believe final essay
-chinese SIA proposal
-chinese 读书报告呈现
-bio quiz
-bio spa
and the list goes on.
have to study and work hard this weekend. which is gonna be very tiring.
i guess im used to all these le ba.
and i guess im used to missing people.
i guess im used to being hurt by people.
so that even when i find out the things they do to me behind my back, i still have no reaction.
ytd, i received a text sent wrongly. it was about me.
i just went, orh.
i even replied and asked "why you keep sending me texts about me"
i didnt even feel anything.
cus i guess im just used to all these.
used to people ending up taking sides with others and me losing my friendship with them.
isnt that why i went ahead and walked to bus stop w evelyn today instead of wait?
im just used to everything.
pain, sadness, hurt.
is this good, or bad?
everything has two sides ba.
i shall focus on the good side, being numb to all this is good cus i dun feel anything anymore.
kay thats it idrk what im writing and im really sleepy and this is just...rubbish. not gonna start stirring up the feelings that i pushed away.
nightz.
