Sunday, January 15, 2012 | 1/15/2012 12:26:00 AM | 0 comments
My chest is hurting badly so I really shouldn't think so much anymore, but just wanna blog a while..Today many things happened, ups and downs.
Morning almost had this big flip w ... Over sth that I'm really used to by now, but shan't bring up.
Then afternoon laughed like mad w dad.
At fellowship got damn high w Pam and jingwen etc
Just that She was there and made me dam xian but wtv I still enjoyed myself.
Then came home and ... Was like suddenly okay so dinner was okay.
Then found out about 3 ppl fr my past who sort of lied to me about sth.
I exposed one of em straight which leaded to confrontations and a lot of shit.
Honestly, if you dw to go out w me, then just say we are going out for other reasons, dun lie with shit that I can obviously easily tell. Please, ive known you for 2years.
I really hate talking to ppl straight or confronting ppl about such things, but I'm really so sick and tired of being lied to all the time like a fool and still ignoring and pretending idk anyth.
So I'm really gonna start this.
Confrontations usually only have bad outcomes, that's why I really hate em.
This also kind of serves to tell everyone else who have been treating me like an idiot: I know when you're lying so really stop. Whatever you do and tell me, as long as you are truthful and both actions are the same(=what you do is what you tell) I dun give a damn. It's only when you lie that really gets me upset. And I flip. Which flips our ship.
The funny thing is even after I confronted her, she tried to explain a really failed explanation to me. At least she tried to. But i didnt care alr cus by then, none of em were worth it anymore.
Then I commented on twitter which led to her "dedicating" 2posts on fb to me. I felt 'honored' but honestly even if she did that I wouldn't have done it in return, cus theyre just not worth it anymore, and they're officially into my past.
When someone isn't worth it, be it time, energy or even attention, they'll never get it from me.
However, at e same time, I was talking to someone fr my past for e whole afternoon.
And things kinda got more serious at night and made me feel confused again,
Why do you only come back when I've decided to put everything behind me? Why are you only treating me this well after everything's over? What's the point now?
I really have no energy to think about these questions, and my chest hurts so badly I'm starting to get really giddy. I guess it must've been my roller coastered day...
Somehow I've learnt to push everything back and just not think about anything so I'll be happy and alright for now at least.
That's what I'm gonna do- leave all these questions for another day, to answer to myself, and to others.
Anw these few days ive also been letting those who have managed to guess my bday wish know that theyre right. And so far all 4 are about.... The t one. Haha, but getting it correctly might not mean I'll really get the gift, so I'll just wait! The only ones who have given me promises for my gift without realizing so far are kat and my bro. Haha anticipating my gifts fr them. X)
Counting down: 15days
