Super tired but kinda need to just blabber here for awhile.
Last min decided to go for combined youth camp tmr cus super many ppl made me feel bad about not going ><
now I regret signing up but I alr did so it's too late><
Feel like everyth's super hectic suddenly.
I need to change my procrastinating habitttttttt! Bleh.
Left w math hw only now though. Finished litment research.
So from now onwards,
Tmr till thurs will be camp with cca in between which means I'll miss Monday sleepover Tuesday morn and weds sleepover + thurs full day cus of my cca. Doesn't really matter I can keep anticipating e other activity when I get Xian for one.
On Friday will be idk yet prolly piano since I can't make it on weds. But I have math hw to do on Friday plus packing packing packing.
Saturday will be yeye's 80th birthday celeb in advance cus we wun be ard on e actual day. That's gonna keep me occupied for e entire day almost. And at night e entire family has fixed specially to all Pack. Sunday serving as chairman and worship leader at youth service, busybusybusy. Mon outing w sym rachkhoo and kje! Tues cca and weds we're off!
Back on 28th night, farewell on 29th which I will try to go for fang's sake since I'm her junior. And then it's get ready for school.
Gonna be really worn out so I have to stay strong.
And after today's combined service w adults and today's lesson I decided I need to become a better person and stop sinning smuch.
What else. Not thinking much just typing out random thoughts like nobody's business but anw no one reads here so nvm haha.
I feel quite giddy and nauseous now. Uhm nvm.
These few days ships have been really hmm.
Felt really happy to meet fang.
Really happy to have gone out w kat, she really is a good confidant.
Then pam.. Mm..the way she treats me sometimes is a little weird still I guess, and she still seems closer to e others.. but today during lesson when kelv asked "can you imagine if your closest best friend or family doesn't go to heaven just cus he/she doesnt believe in God? You'll be so sad right?"
She was beside me and she said "I'll be sad for my other friends but you're going to heaven with me what (:"
I think my heart skipped a beat..
Ive never really known what our ship became since we were...11? And i think today she admitted to me that I'm still her best friend.
Its been a while since someone told me what I meant to them...
That day I was quarreling w my mom and she said "what's there to appreciate about you?!" that hurt quite badly.. But I never really told anyone. Not even angel.
I guess although it looks like I have many close friends to tell many things to, it's only sometimes where I will spill things to them cus we somehow arrive at the topic, or they ask it out of me.
And although many of my ships have sunk and things aren't really going well, Ive been feeling quite nice these few days cus of the surrounding friends who've done small sweet things for me..
Even if other ships aren't going well, I think I have the best best friends and true friends ever. And I think best friends are so much more worth it than any other ships in e world, excluding kinship which is about the same importance. Maybe it's just these few days, but I'm really treasuring and appreciating all the little things many of em have done for me.
These few days... Ive also been missing ppl. My bbr esp.
Literally haven't communicated for so long.. Even for gb and sh they still text me sometimes. And today one and it was quite mood spoiling but wtv.
E day before idk why I started missing bbr. So I took down piglet fr e bookshelf way up in e middle of e night and told myself I'd only hug it for one night. Idek why I did that but I just did. Ytd I went for concert w a defense up and so I didn't feel anyth.. But when I went home and felt really sick I missed bbr again and I just somehow woke up hugging piglet although I'm quite sure I put it at e other end of my bed. So idk. But bbr is really having a nice good life now. And doesn't care. I really put everything away alr actually, just these few days maybe. I'm still learning and trying haha.. really not that good at letting go. Esp for someone who I prolly won't ever meet anymore after occasional meetings these 2 years. Not like others who will still be in my life hehheh. But like fang, all of em are moving on.. No matter how much I miss em, after next year or so, I prolly wun ever meet em again. I just have to get used to these goodbyes..
Heh I really typed alot. For half an hour? But feel a lil better now after pouring out things that've been bothering me for these past few days.
I'm quite worried for camp actually, worried that I won't be able to get along w my group members esp those English service ones.. Worried that I'll be left out and left behind.. Worried that I might collapse or sth there.. Worried about many more things, but I guess worrying isn't really of any use.. From today on, i must learn to hand everything over to God. All the worries and troubles I'll just pray and give it up to him and stop thinking about em. Idk since whn I started to continue worrying about my probs even after praying about em, but it's all in e past..
I must try to pull myself up I guess. Being down is really very tiring.. It's tiring for not only you, but the people around you..
Goals for this week/ rest of e holidays:
-pray more!
-trust in Him more!
-be a nicer person.
-dun sin as much><
-put bbr away again.
-attempt to talk to ... And solve the latest issue we have with each other.
-have extremely good time management.
-talk to my friends more.
-overcome my phobia of opening texts and stop opening them only at night so I won't have 7/8 texts to reply whn I'm done w e day and my brain is dead.
-go on a big diet cus I.am.too.too.way.too.faaaaaatttt. /bigbigsigh/
-enjoy camp (I hope?)
-STAY HEALTHY!!
-finish hw and packkkk!
-dun get worried too much or stressed.
-stop tweeting so much cus it wastes my time and I think I really tweet too much.
-FINISH MY GOALS.
Counting down:
-9 days to Europe
-20 days to Christmas
-26 days to 2012
-56 days to 30/01

Christmas's coming and I won't be home for Christmas which really is getting me very upset >< but I'll be, in my heart..



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MiL EniledA.
an average 14-year old;
Wishes come true on 30 Jan;
Taonannite 2006-2009, BiCEPer 2007-2009, NYgirl 2010-2011;
adeline30197@hotmail.com.

Wants.
God. True Friends. Family. Love. Care. Health. Happiness. Simplicity. Peace. Everything to be okay.

Her Thoughts | Her Words | Friends | Friends | Friends

Super tired but kinda need to just blabber here for awhile.
Last min decided to go for combined youth camp tmr cus super many ppl made me feel bad about not going ><
now I regret signing up but I alr did so it's too late><
Feel like everyth's super hectic suddenly.
I need to change my procrastinating habitttttttt! Bleh.
Left w math hw only now though. Finished litment research.
So from now onwards,
Tmr till thurs will be camp with cca in between which means I'll miss Monday sleepover Tuesday morn and weds sleepover + thurs full day cus of my cca. Doesn't really matter I can keep anticipating e other activity when I get Xian for one.
On Friday will be idk yet prolly piano since I can't make it on weds. But I have math hw to do on Friday plus packing packing packing.
Saturday will be yeye's 80th birthday celeb in advance cus we wun be ard on e actual day. That's gonna keep me occupied for e entire day almost. And at night e entire family has fixed specially to all Pack. Sunday serving as chairman and worship leader at youth service, busybusybusy. Mon outing w sym rachkhoo and kje! Tues cca and weds we're off!
Back on 28th night, farewell on 29th which I will try to go for fang's sake since I'm her junior. And then it's get ready for school.
Gonna be really worn out so I have to stay strong.
And after today's combined service w adults and today's lesson I decided I need to become a better person and stop sinning smuch.
What else. Not thinking much just typing out random thoughts like nobody's business but anw no one reads here so nvm haha.
I feel quite giddy and nauseous now. Uhm nvm.
These few days ships have been really hmm.
Felt really happy to meet fang.
Really happy to have gone out w kat, she really is a good confidant.
Then pam.. Mm..the way she treats me sometimes is a little weird still I guess, and she still seems closer to e others.. but today during lesson when kelv asked "can you imagine if your closest best friend or family doesn't go to heaven just cus he/she doesnt believe in God? You'll be so sad right?"
She was beside me and she said "I'll be sad for my other friends but you're going to heaven with me what (:"
I think my heart skipped a beat..
Ive never really known what our ship became since we were...11? And i think today she admitted to me that I'm still her best friend.
Its been a while since someone told me what I meant to them...
That day I was quarreling w my mom and she said "what's there to appreciate about you?!" that hurt quite badly.. But I never really told anyone. Not even angel.
I guess although it looks like I have many close friends to tell many things to, it's only sometimes where I will spill things to them cus we somehow arrive at the topic, or they ask it out of me.
And although many of my ships have sunk and things aren't really going well, Ive been feeling quite nice these few days cus of the surrounding friends who've done small sweet things for me..
Even if other ships aren't going well, I think I have the best best friends and true friends ever. And I think best friends are so much more worth it than any other ships in e world, excluding kinship which is about the same importance. Maybe it's just these few days, but I'm really treasuring and appreciating all the little things many of em have done for me.
These few days... Ive also been missing ppl. My bbr esp.
Literally haven't communicated for so long.. Even for gb and sh they still text me sometimes. And today one and it was quite mood spoiling but wtv.
E day before idk why I started missing bbr. So I took down piglet fr e bookshelf way up in e middle of e night and told myself I'd only hug it for one night. Idek why I did that but I just did. Ytd I went for concert w a defense up and so I didn't feel anyth.. But when I went home and felt really sick I missed bbr again and I just somehow woke up hugging piglet although I'm quite sure I put it at e other end of my bed. So idk. But bbr is really having a nice good life now. And doesn't care. I really put everything away alr actually, just these few days maybe. I'm still learning and trying haha.. really not that good at letting go. Esp for someone who I prolly won't ever meet anymore after occasional meetings these 2 years. Not like others who will still be in my life hehheh. But like fang, all of em are moving on.. No matter how much I miss em, after next year or so, I prolly wun ever meet em again. I just have to get used to these goodbyes..
Heh I really typed alot. For half an hour? But feel a lil better now after pouring out things that've been bothering me for these past few days.
I'm quite worried for camp actually, worried that I won't be able to get along w my group members esp those English service ones.. Worried that I'll be left out and left behind.. Worried that I might collapse or sth there.. Worried about many more things, but I guess worrying isn't really of any use.. From today on, i must learn to hand everything over to God. All the worries and troubles I'll just pray and give it up to him and stop thinking about em. Idk since whn I started to continue worrying about my probs even after praying about em, but it's all in e past..
I must try to pull myself up I guess. Being down is really very tiring.. It's tiring for not only you, but the people around you..
Goals for this week/ rest of e holidays:
-pray more!
-trust in Him more!
-be a nicer person.
-dun sin as much><
-put bbr away again.
-attempt to talk to ... And solve the latest issue we have with each other.
-have extremely good time management.
-talk to my friends more.
-overcome my phobia of opening texts and stop opening them only at night so I won't have 7/8 texts to reply whn I'm done w e day and my brain is dead.
-go on a big diet cus I.am.too.too.way.too.faaaaaatttt. /bigbigsigh/
-enjoy camp (I hope?)
-STAY HEALTHY!!
-finish hw and packkkk!
-dun get worried too much or stressed.
-stop tweeting so much cus it wastes my time and I think I really tweet too much.
-FINISH MY GOALS.
Counting down:
-9 days to Europe
-20 days to Christmas
-26 days to 2012
-56 days to 30/01

Christmas's coming and I won't be home for Christmas which really is getting me very upset >< but I'll be, in my heart..



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