hmm suddenly felt like blogging..finished all work today (: and earlier than targeted...so back here. these few days have been overwhelming.
and yet cant vent on twitter. so come here ba i guess.
unknowingly, twitter has somehow became my everyday "blogger"
instead of blogging one whole long chunk a day, i tweet whats happening instead and release emotions bit by bit thru that place.
but apparently i've been releasing too much.
today someone said something that really hurt me. so well. but i dun expect anything else other than hurt alr. and this hurt is nothing compared to the other hurt i've gotten.
anw, im considering locking this blog up, so only people who i approve can read my blog. and if i dont approve...hahaha my personal diary that no one can see 8)
how time flies...
2 years my section has been together, like this, status quo. and in 2 weeks time everything's gonna change.
i remember a post in may, about how i predicted everything was gonna change after the june hols.
i really am a fortune teller, arent i.
my life has seriously changed so much man. and last year i was still living luxury life at my old home, going thru the shiokest year in sec sch, idk what else.
this year zoomed and WOW its july already, last reality check, it was still before my birthday man.
im really just like WHOA and dk what other things i can say about how time really rockets.
all i know is that i learnt these years to treasure every moment, every part, every day of my life.
before i know it, it'd be gone.
all e rubbish in life isnt worth my time, energy, tears, whatever.
all e people in life that arent worth it, i shdnt waste my happiness on em either.
i dun want 2 weeks to come. this year of band is prolly the best year of band i'll ever have, all because of my seniors, especially the sec4s.
i dun wanna say goodbye to the best seniors ive made. i dun wanna say goodbye to my dearest dearest dearest senior who guide and help me from day 1 of nycb last year.
i really dk how im gonna take it in 2 weeks. really hope my immune system builds up by then and i'll stop collapsing.
even if im okay physically, i know inside, i will be crushed. at least until next year.
i know that i'll need a strong support. a support strong enough to keep me alive till my inside builds up again.
my friends and family? i know there'll be friends and family who will be there for me to grow and learn with me.
but they wont be strong enough.
i need to grow back close to God. only through He, i can do all things.
thats e most important thing LWH needs to fix in her life right now.

My friendship life is really messed up now. actually its both sides.
the strong side has been strong recently and growing stronger.
yet many many ships are sinking and sinking like there's no end t e depth of the ocean.
shant specifically say anything, but i wanna show everyone this side of me that you Have to know before you Decide whether I am Worth to be your Friend.
and if i Dont, its okay you can just go. i dont need people who pretend to like me.
This side, has all my flaws and bad qualities. be prepared cus im just gonna be frank and tell everyone this. if one day anyone even reads this blog, and uses my weaknesses against me, i'll just blame myself for being an idiot again. but i'll still do this.

She's never good looking on the outside, not in terms of anything at all. all the physical traits you see in her will never be appealing. neither is her health condition. nor her studies. she cant do anything right in terms of academic, sports, arts, whatever. She cant even do many basic things in life. But that's just her. you think that's all? all these are the surface.  look further in.
She's spoilt many people say, weird, talk loads of crap, irritating, troublesome, easily jealous, selfish, highly possessive, emotional, sensitive, sharp-tongued, mean, sadistic, crazy, cold to some, proud to some, stubborn, self-conscious-hate being looked at by others with coloured eyes. all these flaws cant be listed finish within my lifetime.

THIS IS ME.
can you accept it?
cus if you cant accept me at my worst, you dun deserve to see me at my best.
im just showing my bad side today. i might not have a good side at all, i might have some good qualities. i dont know. it'd take you to find that out yourself, when you can actually get past my flaws.

i really dont need people who only want me to be good all the time, because im human, and i'll never be able to do that. i have my down side too, and i need friends who can Accept me for that.
i want friends who love me for Who i am, not What i am.
i want friends that will be by my side when i need them, nt just come and leave as they please.
i want friends that care liddat, thats all. maybe it sounds a bit overboard, but i only have such requests because i know i would do it for my friends too.
"朋友是用心交的" remember mommy who told me this when i was young.
i never forgot that. ever.
but as i grow up, i realise while you can give 100 hearts to a friend, if the friend doesnt give a shit, no matter what you do, it doesnt make a diff.
thats what i've really seen recently.

was contemplating whether i should mention e most ipt 20ppl of my life.
maybe i will.
i dun have many people that care about me. but those people are all important and special to me.

-God, Daddy, Mommy, Angel, Benben, GanMa, J Gor, Yun Man, Hazel, Kathy, Fang, AshleyWu, Bbear, Laorenjia, Nichapat, Han Lu, Huiling, Sung Jin, Joanna, Jaimelynne.


of course there are many more important people, but if i were to list everyone i wouldnt be able to sleep by mommy's new lights-out rule at 1am. More from Bethelites, NYCB seniors, 209 classmates, but they prolly havent had that great impact in my life. yup basically my life just revolves around these few groups of people. i think these people have really seen the worst of the worst side of me, yet they still love me and care for me. soo they are important to me and i really treasure them. yup. really really do.
although some of them might have changed t ppl idk anymore, some might leave my life soon, but they were once a certain identity to me and in my memory they will always be That identity, e one that care for me and i care for, and i will never forget the greatness, memories, happiness, and everything they brought to my life once.

i will miss them when they leave, and those that have left i miss them more than my words can express. maybe my actions can.. hugs, looks, idk. if they even bother, and if i ever get e chance to..

okay, off to bed, gnite!
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MiL EniledA.
an average 14-year old;
Wishes come true on 30 Jan;
Taonannite 2006-2009, BiCEPer 2007-2009, NYgirl 2010-2011;
adeline30197@hotmail.com.

Wants.
God. True Friends. Family. Love. Care. Health. Happiness. Simplicity. Peace. Everything to be okay.

Her Thoughts | Her Words | Friends | Friends | Friends

hmm suddenly felt like blogging..finished all work today (: and earlier than targeted...so back here. these few days have been overwhelming.
and yet cant vent on twitter. so come here ba i guess.
unknowingly, twitter has somehow became my everyday "blogger"
instead of blogging one whole long chunk a day, i tweet whats happening instead and release emotions bit by bit thru that place.
but apparently i've been releasing too much.
today someone said something that really hurt me. so well. but i dun expect anything else other than hurt alr. and this hurt is nothing compared to the other hurt i've gotten.
anw, im considering locking this blog up, so only people who i approve can read my blog. and if i dont approve...hahaha my personal diary that no one can see 8)
how time flies...
2 years my section has been together, like this, status quo. and in 2 weeks time everything's gonna change.
i remember a post in may, about how i predicted everything was gonna change after the june hols.
i really am a fortune teller, arent i.
my life has seriously changed so much man. and last year i was still living luxury life at my old home, going thru the shiokest year in sec sch, idk what else.
this year zoomed and WOW its july already, last reality check, it was still before my birthday man.
im really just like WHOA and dk what other things i can say about how time really rockets.
all i know is that i learnt these years to treasure every moment, every part, every day of my life.
before i know it, it'd be gone.
all e rubbish in life isnt worth my time, energy, tears, whatever.
all e people in life that arent worth it, i shdnt waste my happiness on em either.
i dun want 2 weeks to come. this year of band is prolly the best year of band i'll ever have, all because of my seniors, especially the sec4s.
i dun wanna say goodbye to the best seniors ive made. i dun wanna say goodbye to my dearest dearest dearest senior who guide and help me from day 1 of nycb last year.
i really dk how im gonna take it in 2 weeks. really hope my immune system builds up by then and i'll stop collapsing.
even if im okay physically, i know inside, i will be crushed. at least until next year.
i know that i'll need a strong support. a support strong enough to keep me alive till my inside builds up again.
my friends and family? i know there'll be friends and family who will be there for me to grow and learn with me.
but they wont be strong enough.
i need to grow back close to God. only through He, i can do all things.
thats e most important thing LWH needs to fix in her life right now.

My friendship life is really messed up now. actually its both sides.
the strong side has been strong recently and growing stronger.
yet many many ships are sinking and sinking like there's no end t e depth of the ocean.
shant specifically say anything, but i wanna show everyone this side of me that you Have to know before you Decide whether I am Worth to be your Friend.
and if i Dont, its okay you can just go. i dont need people who pretend to like me.
This side, has all my flaws and bad qualities. be prepared cus im just gonna be frank and tell everyone this. if one day anyone even reads this blog, and uses my weaknesses against me, i'll just blame myself for being an idiot again. but i'll still do this.

She's never good looking on the outside, not in terms of anything at all. all the physical traits you see in her will never be appealing. neither is her health condition. nor her studies. she cant do anything right in terms of academic, sports, arts, whatever. She cant even do many basic things in life. But that's just her. you think that's all? all these are the surface.  look further in.
She's spoilt many people say, weird, talk loads of crap, irritating, troublesome, easily jealous, selfish, highly possessive, emotional, sensitive, sharp-tongued, mean, sadistic, crazy, cold to some, proud to some, stubborn, self-conscious-hate being looked at by others with coloured eyes. all these flaws cant be listed finish within my lifetime.

THIS IS ME.
can you accept it?
cus if you cant accept me at my worst, you dun deserve to see me at my best.
im just showing my bad side today. i might not have a good side at all, i might have some good qualities. i dont know. it'd take you to find that out yourself, when you can actually get past my flaws.

i really dont need people who only want me to be good all the time, because im human, and i'll never be able to do that. i have my down side too, and i need friends who can Accept me for that.
i want friends who love me for Who i am, not What i am.
i want friends that will be by my side when i need them, nt just come and leave as they please.
i want friends that care liddat, thats all. maybe it sounds a bit overboard, but i only have such requests because i know i would do it for my friends too.
"朋友是用心交的" remember mommy who told me this when i was young.
i never forgot that. ever.
but as i grow up, i realise while you can give 100 hearts to a friend, if the friend doesnt give a shit, no matter what you do, it doesnt make a diff.
thats what i've really seen recently.

was contemplating whether i should mention e most ipt 20ppl of my life.
maybe i will.
i dun have many people that care about me. but those people are all important and special to me.

-God, Daddy, Mommy, Angel, Benben, GanMa, J Gor, Yun Man, Hazel, Kathy, Fang, AshleyWu, Bbear, Laorenjia, Nichapat, Han Lu, Huiling, Sung Jin, Joanna, Jaimelynne.


of course there are many more important people, but if i were to list everyone i wouldnt be able to sleep by mommy's new lights-out rule at 1am. More from Bethelites, NYCB seniors, 209 classmates, but they prolly havent had that great impact in my life. yup basically my life just revolves around these few groups of people. i think these people have really seen the worst of the worst side of me, yet they still love me and care for me. soo they are important to me and i really treasure them. yup. really really do.
although some of them might have changed t ppl idk anymore, some might leave my life soon, but they were once a certain identity to me and in my memory they will always be That identity, e one that care for me and i care for, and i will never forget the greatness, memories, happiness, and everything they brought to my life once.

i will miss them when they leave, and those that have left i miss them more than my words can express. maybe my actions can.. hugs, looks, idk. if they even bother, and if i ever get e chance to..

okay, off to bed, gnite!
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