Tuesday, January 11, 2011 | 1/11/2011 12:02:00 AM | 0 comments
urgh i think i concede defeat.
is it that my face just has this "yeah im stupid come on and keep cheating me"
or is it that im just so stupid?
sigh.
today wasn't exactly a good day
other than the fact that i got to sit with hazel for 3hrs+
which made me feel peaceful
and the fact that i slept and extra 1hr 45 mins today. yay.
okay now's 11:43, i let myself blog till 12, thn i have 5h30mins of slp.
yes. my life is this crazy.
classes were dam boring today )';
and when mummy sms me just now i was quite happy for my sister.
who made me very angry at night so i shant talk about that big fat hand right now.
but i'm proud of her cus of her hard work, although she never top or what, at least she do quite well (:
she's so smart (: i think if is me take o level in 4 yrs time, maybe i can only get below 15 :S
ya.. and to all the sec4 friends/seniors/whoever else, as long as u all put in effort, at least u have one junior here who feel proud and happy for u all, because yr efforts paid off and u guys tried yr best (:
no matter what, we must give thanks (: yup..
and im quite happy for my sis cus she beat 2 ppl esp hahahahah xP okay im dam mean :X nvm!!
im quite sick/tired today bleh.
tmr will be another longggg day~
and i hate doing duty roster man, but i cant push it away, and i havent collated everyone's schedule yet.. actually i dun feel like taking up the post one, cus i will be vry busy aftr this..i dun even have the mood to go and think about council anymore, which i 99% wun get in cus of my horrendous attitude in school hahahaha x)
and tmr aftr school have BAND pom pom pom.
its quite okay la, but im quite xian sometimes err... .. .
syf audition coming soon so i must work triply hard and pray triply hard i wun get cut off from the syf, if not i will be so depressed cus practice so hard and end up cut off cus too many ppl.. know what i mean hurh~
kekeke, and i havent gotten my results from comm yet, i dun intend to take unless they intend to ownself give, i rather not know my marks. :X
oh yah, just now we went out aftr moelc..
and i was really upset about something,
like.. why do people always break promises?
and why is it that we can never have what we want?
after just now, i promise i wun ask for it anymore.
not anymore, if i really want, i will save and buy for myself as birthday present.
cus i know i wun have what i want, esp not now since.. ..
i will nvr open my mouth to ask about what i want anymore, cus no one will give me.
no freaking one.
we can never have what we want dam hard.
like i wanted to be class comm or sth fr p4-p6, i nvr got what i wanted
in sec 1, i wanted so badly to have somebody, i nvr got what i wanted.
now im sec2, i learnt that i will nvr have what i want, so i should just stop asking for them, if God decides its time to give me, he will give me. if not i will just have dreams about what i want and stop thinking about them, like the thing i want dam badly right now.
its really unfair sometimes, u tell me u're gonna give me that, then u break yr promise after getting me all excited and all that.
i want to throw shoe at u man ):
7 minutes ahh!!
okay.
its 20 days gonna be 19 days.
im getting more and more excited yet more and more disappointed.
haiya.
just now saw this dam nice ben& jerry's ice cream cake.
it was in heart shape and had some really sweet words on it [i kinda forgot heh]
then i tell mummy and mummy say so small if want get the bigger one.
then bigger one is dam ex, and big as in REALLY BIG kinda BIG, so i told her "u buy want to let 5 of us eat how many meals uh, there is no one else to share with us.."
yeah and we walked away.
so disappointing right, iknow..
haiya.
nevermind, i learn to 看得开 already,
if have i give thanks, if dun have then just dun have lor!
like i say, if no one will wish me happy birthday or sing birthday song or celebrate,
i will sing happy birthday to myself, buy myself a present and celebrate for myself.
that's the least i can do for myself.
after torturing myself and being tortured by everyone for so long.
whoa, i really cant believe my 14th is coming! hahahaha~
byebye (:
im tired, so tired. burnt out, so burnt out. i hate it that everyone assumes u're okay just cus u try to remain optimistic and be happy, yet its really not me to show my depressed self in front of everyone. i hate it that i dun have friends who from one look can tell what i'm upset about/tell what im masking inside.. im sick and tired of always giving my 300% for everyone, and not even getting 3% in return.
it really s-cks. this really s-cks. this whole crap we're going thru s-cks even more cus it landed all of us into this crazy stupid broke state which affect all of our inside emotions and thoughts and also exterior selfs.. idk what else to say, other than i'm tired. and i want a stop.. yet there's no one who could just help me put the stop sign, and warn others that there is a dangerous obstacle right ahead.. cant imagine what would happen if one day something about me goes crazy and i end up harming everyone
