why must everything always be my fault?
 always all my fault..
i'm such a lousy and freaking horrid person.
no good qualities, all full of imperfections.
everything about me is bad bad bad.
i am best at ruining things and being a major failure.
i'm such a lousy person that i have so few pathetic true friends of which i am too unimportant for them to even bother about,
and everyone hates me.
like i bet most of the seniors, church people, friends, blablabla, they all hate me.
someone teach me how to be NORMAL.
to be someone who is unhated.
to be worthy enough so that your "true friends" will bother to spend some time with you / care for you / listen to you / cheer you up.
today i made my mummy upset, cause i smsed her and scolded a teacher i really dislike now.
and then she didn't even bother to reply my sms, which made me feel even worse than i already did.
then she called me just to tell me that people would be coming , and she sounded so pissed and hung up immediately afterwards.
i didn't even have a chance to tell her i was sick.
my whole family hates me too.
so pathetic..
my sister only knows how to complain about how noisy i am when i'm playing the piano for 2 hrs, disturbing her and all that, not even bothering to give me a word of encouragement.
now even my parents.
when i finally had the chance to tell them i was sick,
" okay okay wait i settle this agent first she more important can help us! "
yeah right.
when i said my stomach hurt, the only person who asked was my helper. of all 4 family members and 5 people in my home, only my helper said " you want to eat medicine or not? you must tell them leh, then they bring you see doctor. "
do they even care?
... forget it. why am i even writing all these? no one bothers reading at all, or understanding anything.
i have to face all the battles alone, and everything becomes my fault.
my fault my fault my fault.
all my fault.
i am just going to be a freaking lousy person and failure in my whole life.
and nobody would care.
i bet if i even died today, no one would even go for my funeral.
would my family even HOLD one for me?
hahahahaha! what a joke.. haha ...
just tell me when someone would really care.
is that too much to ask for?
a smile, a greeting, a word of encouragement, a pat on the back? i'm just asking for one
or was it that cause i'm such a failure, i haven't given enough to anyone, so now i cant be expecting or asking for any in return?
hahaha... maybe its none of those. maybe i'm just that invincible and failure and unworthy... hahaha..
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MiL EniledA.
an average 14-year old;
Wishes come true on 30 Jan;
Taonannite 2006-2009, BiCEPer 2007-2009, NYgirl 2010-2011;
adeline30197@hotmail.com.

Wants.
God. True Friends. Family. Love. Care. Health. Happiness. Simplicity. Peace. Everything to be okay.

Her Thoughts | Her Words | Friends | Friends | Friends

why must everything always be my fault?
 always all my fault..
i'm such a lousy and freaking horrid person.
no good qualities, all full of imperfections.
everything about me is bad bad bad.
i am best at ruining things and being a major failure.
i'm such a lousy person that i have so few pathetic true friends of which i am too unimportant for them to even bother about,
and everyone hates me.
like i bet most of the seniors, church people, friends, blablabla, they all hate me.
someone teach me how to be NORMAL.
to be someone who is unhated.
to be worthy enough so that your "true friends" will bother to spend some time with you / care for you / listen to you / cheer you up.
today i made my mummy upset, cause i smsed her and scolded a teacher i really dislike now.
and then she didn't even bother to reply my sms, which made me feel even worse than i already did.
then she called me just to tell me that people would be coming , and she sounded so pissed and hung up immediately afterwards.
i didn't even have a chance to tell her i was sick.
my whole family hates me too.
so pathetic..
my sister only knows how to complain about how noisy i am when i'm playing the piano for 2 hrs, disturbing her and all that, not even bothering to give me a word of encouragement.
now even my parents.
when i finally had the chance to tell them i was sick,
" okay okay wait i settle this agent first she more important can help us! "
yeah right.
when i said my stomach hurt, the only person who asked was my helper. of all 4 family members and 5 people in my home, only my helper said " you want to eat medicine or not? you must tell them leh, then they bring you see doctor. "
do they even care?
... forget it. why am i even writing all these? no one bothers reading at all, or understanding anything.
i have to face all the battles alone, and everything becomes my fault.
my fault my fault my fault.
all my fault.
i am just going to be a freaking lousy person and failure in my whole life.
and nobody would care.
i bet if i even died today, no one would even go for my funeral.
would my family even HOLD one for me?
hahahahaha! what a joke.. haha ...
just tell me when someone would really care.
is that too much to ask for?
a smile, a greeting, a word of encouragement, a pat on the back? i'm just asking for one
or was it that cause i'm such a failure, i haven't given enough to anyone, so now i cant be expecting or asking for any in return?
hahaha... maybe its none of those. maybe i'm just that invincible and failure and unworthy... hahaha..
Older Post | Newer Post